Inevitability
by siriuslyferret
Summary: From her first day at Hogwarts, Eleanor clashes with Draco Malfoy. There's hate present on both sides: Eleanor's for what the Death Eaters did to her brother; Draco's for unknown reasons. When it matters most, can they discover that sometimes hate can turn to love? Or will one choice end their chance at happiness forever? M for language.
1. Chapter 1

Note: I do not own the Harry Potter series or any characters, ideas, etc. that originate from them.

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

"Oi! Get out of the fucking way!"

I quickly stepped to the side of the busy corridor, trying to stay out of the way of students that were rushing to dinner in a mass of robes and voices. The boy who had snapped at me now turned to glare, looking at me as though my running into him was the largest inconvenience to have happened to him all day. His eyes gave me a shock, as they were the post peculiar shade of gray I'd ever seen- and also the most cold and calculating. He looked me over and a smirk appeared on his face. But this wasn't the smirk of a teenage boy checking out some girl. No, I wasn't conceited enough (or stupid enough) to think that. This was a look of appraisal, of judgement, one that was clearly meant to convey that he was superior and had the right to evaluate my worth. And I wasn't sure he liked what he saw. Before I had a chance to apologize or do anything more than stare back, he had swept down the hallway and disappeared into the crowd.

I took a deep breath and kept walking towards the gargoyle I could see up ahead. I had been told earlier that morning by Professor McGonagall, a stern looking witch apparently assigned to help me with the transition, to make my way to the third floor and give a password to a gargoyle there. I finally reached it as the crowds began to thin. I looked up at it hesitantly, then down at the paper that listed the password.

"Umm….peppermint toad?"

The gargoyle jumped to the side, revealing a spiral staircase which began to move as soon as I stepped on it. My apprehension grew as the staircase twisted upwards. I knew I was going to meet the Headmaster, but I had no idea what to expect. Would he be angry, a crotchety old man? Annoyed at having to expend the effort for a transfer student?

Walking into the office, I forgot my feelings of nervousness in the face of the incredible scene around me. I had grown up in the wizarding world, but never had I seen so many fascinating objects in one room. I was so busy looking around me that I didn't even notice the man sitting at the desk, so I was startled when he cleared his throat. This man was nothing like I had imagined, with long silver hair, spectacles, and the kindest, brightest blue eyes I had ever seen. For a moment, I was struck at their contrast with the harshness of the boy's eyes from earlier. Shaking thoughts of him from my head, I walked quickly to the desk and stuck out my hand.

"Headmaster. My name is Eleanor Mousseau, thank you for seeing me."

He smiled and shook my hand.

"Professor Dumbledore, please. Now Eleanor, I understand you wish to transfer here to Hogwarts from Beauxbatons. May I ask why this is?" He steadily gazed at me over the spectacles, giving me the impression he already knew my answer before I gave it. I cleared my throat.

"Yes sir. You see, my father died almost five years ago. He was a wizard. My mother is a Muggle. She had mostly left the care of my magical abilities to my father. I think as proud as she is of me, she's still slightly afraid of magic. My father had only told her he was a wizard when she became pregnant. He died just as I was the age to come to Hogwarts. I hadn't even received my letter yet. My mother married a wizard who was friends with my father, mostly to have someone who could deal with a young witch and care for me as I began my schooling. This man, my stepfather, was not who we thought he was. He forced us to change our name to his and move from London to Southern France, away from our family and friends. When I began attending Beauxbatons, my mother was left alone in a country where she knew no one, as my stepfather left home frequently. He was harsh, bordering on abusive, and refused to let her make friends while he was away.

"Last year, when Hogwarts hosted the Triwizard Tournament, my friends returned talking about how wonderful and welcoming Hogwarts had been. Before that, I had all but forgotten I was meant to attend Hogwarts in the first place. I wanted desperately to try and come here, not necessarily to leave Beauxbatons, but to leave France and my stepfather. I wrote to my mother and told her how I felt, reminding her of my original place at Hogwarts, and the next thing I knew, she had left my stepfather and moved back to Britain. She told me she would have years earlier if she had known I was unhappy as well. Sir, I'm sorry to be an inconvenience by wanting to come here. But now that my mum has left my stepfather, we can't go back to France, and I don't have a school, and I don't know where to go or what to do or —"

Professor Dumbledore held up a hand to stop my ramblings.

"Eleanor, we would be honored to have you here at Hogwarts. The arrangements can be made with no trouble at all. We simply need you to be placed in a House so we can begin the preparations."

I looked at him, concerned. This was what I was worried about. I had heard the stories of the Hogwarts Sorting Hat, and how it looked into your mind to decide where to place you. How could this hat know where to place me when my mind had been a jumbled mess since I first decided to come to Hogwarts? How would it know where I belonged when I had been at a different school for four years and a different country for a good part of of my life?

I felt a sense of rising panic as it finally dawned on me what I was doing. I wouldn't know anyone, and these people had been friends for years. Houses are tight-knit, no one would want me to intrude. I had only given Professor Dumbledore the basics of my reasons for coming here. My stepfather was a fucking monster, not the typical disliked family intruder I described him as. I hadn't even talked about my brother, because every time I thought about him, I felt a chunk missing from my heart that seemed like it got bigger every time. Professor Dumbledore interrupted my thoughts by bringing over the frayed hat, preparing to place it on my head. His reassuring smile again gave me the impression that he knew what I was thinking.

As the hat was lowered onto my head, I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to block out the feelings of nervousness. I didn't know if there was a House for weaklings, but I didn't want to be put there, even if I belonged. A moment later, I was shocked to hear a small voice.

"You don't have to try to be brave for me, you know. I can still see your nervous thoughts."

 _Fake it until you make it_ , I thought. The voice gave a tiny chuckle.

"Oh yes, but you aren't faking it as much as you think. Standing by your mother for all these years, coming to a new school and different country, and especially the situation with your brother….ah yes, you're much braver than you think."

My heart constricted at the mention of my brother. _Don't you dare talk about him_ , I thought furiously, my pulse quickly rising. The hat chuckled again.

"You've got spunk, too. Yes, I think you'll be a good match for GRYFFINDOR!"

The last word it spoke aloud, and Professor Dumbledore pulled the hat off my head.

"So it seems you are to be in the House for the brave," he said, looking at me over his spectacles. "If I am as good at judging my students as I ever was, I would say you'll do quite well there. Now, off you go," he finished with a smile. I had a sneaking suspicion that if he was to be honest, Gryffindor was his favorite house. I just hoped that for whatever reason he liked it, I would like it too.

* * *

Professor Dumbledore had given me directions to the Gryffindor common room, as by now the students had finished with dinner. He offered to have food sent up to me, but I wasn't hungry at all. I had finally reached Gryffindor tower and was then staring up at a painting of a very large woman. She peered down at me with confusion.

"Who're you?"

"I'm Eleanor. I'm….new."

"New? We never have new students. You aren't a first year."

I sighed. This was going to be a recurring conversation, I already knew.

"No, I'm a fifth year. I transferred here. Professor Dumbledore told me the password was hippogriff?"

With that, the portrait swung forward, and I stepped through the hole that led inside. The moment I entered the common room, all conversation stopped. I stopped too, uncertain of where to go or what to do. The silence was becoming unbearable, and I could feel my face turning red from embarrassment. I opened my mouth to speak and realized I had no idea what I should say in a situation like this. Finally, some girl took pity on me and stepped forward with a friendly smile. She had large amounts of brown hair and was holding several books in her arms.

"Hello there. I'm Hermione. Can I um, help you?" I smiled back greatfully.

"Hi, I'm Eleanor. I just transferred here from Beauxbatons."

A murmur ran around the room and I was reminded just how many people were listening into our conversation. Hermione's eyes grew.

"From Beauxbatons? Really, that's fascinating! You'll have to tell me all about it, what is it —"

"Damn, 'Mione, lay off. The poor girl's not even in the room all the way, you can make her your personal Beauxbatons research library later."

A tall boy with flaming red hair and freckles had walked up to us as well. I spotted a few other heads with this bright color scattered throughout the room, and assumed that they were the boy's siblings. I felt a pang of jealousy.

"Hullo. My name's Ron, sorry about our inquisitor over here."

I grinned at him.

"Oh, it's alright, any friendly face can ask as many questions as they'd like."

"Well, it's a good thing you didn't get Sorted into Slytherin, friendly faces are hard to come by there."

I smiled politely, unsure of what to say. I assumed Slytherin was another House, but I didn't want to show just how little about Hogwarts I knew. Another boy walked up then.

"Slytherin is our least favorite house," he said with a half smile, "so if you're from Beauxbatons I'm guessing you don't know much about us. How'd you end up here?"

I had just started to answer him when I noticed a strange scar underneath his mess of black hair. I stopped short, forgetting for a moment how rude it was to stare. He chuckled at my surprise.

"That's what I get for not introducing myself. But I guess you realize by now that I'm Harry Potter."

I continued to look at him. This was the boy that my brother had….no, I couldn't think about him right now. It still hurt. I realized I had been staring just a moment too long, so I laughed too.

"Sorry for staring. It's just not every day that your whole world flips upside down and then you meet the famous Harry Potter."

I swallowed my feelings down and tried to keep my face in a neutral smile. Harry opened his mouth to object and Ron snorted with laughter. A short boy with sandy hair walked up to join us.

"Don't go sayin' that now, eh, or you'll make his head even fuckin' bigger than it already is," he said, nudging Harry. He stuck out his hand and introduced himself as Seamus, and I smiled at his thick Irish dialect. A boy that had walked over with him shook his head at Seamus's jab and said, "Oh come on, you know you were surprised when you met Harry too. Eleanor, was it? I'm Dean."

I nodded at him and smiled, but before I could say anything, three more people walked over, all with the same bright red hair as Ron. The girl introduced herself as Ginny, tilting her head at Ron and confirming my belief that "this one" was indeed her brother. The other two boys were twins, identical in every way. I couldn't find anything to distinguish them at all, and was amazed. They both radiated energy, and I liked them immediately.

"Hullo there. I'm Fred, and this is —"

"George. Nice to meet you, Eleanor. If you need anything at all —"

"— particularly any type of help with troublemaking —"

"— or just want to have a bit of fun and fuck things up —"

"We're here for you," Fred finished with a grin. I told them I'd keep that in mind, and with winks, they said their goodbyes. By this time, half of the House had made their way over to us to introduce themselves. I met so many people within the next half hour that all the names and faces became a blur, but I had never been happier. All of my fear about not being accepted was gone. These people were wonderful and so interesting. I think I was as amused by them as they were by me. After ages of introductions, Hermione let out a small gasp.

"Merlin, it's late."

She looked around and then yelled over the chatter and laughter, "first years, think about getting to bed!"

I was mildly surprised. Hermione was kind and had a maternal nature, but I didn't think it extended to checking on the younger students' bedtimes. Harry laughed at the look on my face.

"She's a prefect. She's supposed to enforce the rules no one gives a damn about," he explained with a wink in her direction. Hermione humphed, "Ronald is supposed to do that as well, actually."

I laughed at the utterly unconcerned air about Ron as he lay sprawled across an armchair by the huge fireplace and gave Hermione a look that clearly showed how little he did in fact care about the rules, let alone enforcing them.

Hermione just shook her head, standing up and stretching.

"Well, in any case, I'm going to bed as well. Eleanor, would you like me to show you to the dorm?"

I nodded and stood as well, stifling a yawn. It had been a long day even without meeting the entire Gryffindor House. We said our goodnights to the boys, and I followed her up a staircase. We entered a circular room with large canopy beds, one of which had my trunk at the foot. We got ready for bed, and by that time the other girls had entered the room. We all chatted for a bit before drifting off to sleep one by one. Soon it was just Hermione and I talking quietly. I told her all about Beauxbatons, and she told me about her early years at Hogwarts. I was amazed at all the adventures she, Harry, and Ron and been on. I could tell they were all talented and had been aptly placed in this House for the brave.

She avoided asking me why I had come to Hogwarts, and I was grateful. I wasn't prepared to give that explanation again, or answer the questions that would certainly follow. We both became very sleepy and our talking slowly stopped. When I closed my eyes, an image of a piercing gray stare flashed across my lids. My eyes popped open in confusion. Why was I thinking of this boy? More accurately, why of his eyes, as I could barely remember what his face looked like. Who the fuck was he?

"Hermione…." I began, but then realized I had no idea what to ask. Out of all the boys in the school, there was no way she would recognize one by his eye color, and that was the only description I could provide. That and the way it felt when his eyes swept over me, like they saw everything at once, but that wasn't something I was sure I could say out loud. I had a nagging feeling that he would be in Slytherin based on the way other Gryffindors described the other House. Yeah, his cool, calculating stare hid something, and not something good. Hermione mumbled something, and I wasn't sure if it was a reply to me or if she was even awake. I rolled over and tried not to think about those eyes, and instead tried to concentrate on counting hippogriffs.


	2. Chapter 2

I walked down to breakfast the next morning with Hermione, Harry, and Ron. We took our seats at the long Gryffindor table, where we were greeted with good mornings. By the time I had arrived at Hogwarts, classes had been going on for almost a month, but Hermione had assured me I could catch up and that I would have no trouble making friends. And sure enough, everyone made a point to say hello to me, and I was pleased they all took the time to make me feel welcome. Students from other Houses wandered over out of curiosity, as I was the first transfer student to ever come to Hogwarts. After talking to students from both Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, I could see where the traits of each respective House were present in the students. Ravenclaws were witty, and the Hufflepuffs were incredibly kind. No Slytherin came to introduce themselves, but the entire table kept glancing in my direction and muttering things that I'm sure weren't complimentary.

"They're probably guessing your fucking blood status," Ginny said with a huff, as she settled herself next to me. "That's just about all that matters to them."

I shook my head. I had known people at Beauxbatons like that too.

"Well, I'm half-blood, so I should be able to stay out of trouble with them."

Hermione grinned. "I'm Muggleborn, so I have trouble with them all the time. But you should be alright unless they decide to be particularly nasty."

I opened my mouth to reply when movement caught my eye. A group of three boys was entering the Great Hall, two hulking boys and one slim one. The slim one walked slightly ahead of the other two, clearly the leader. He had white blond hair and skin paler than mine, which was an accomplishment. As they drew closer, I inhaled sharply. The blond had gray eyes. _The_ gray eyes. I started to ask who he was when Ron made a noise of disgust and glared in his direction.

"That fucking git walking in here like he owns the place. Where the hell has he been all morning, breakfast is almost over." The boy strutted towards the Slytherin table followed by the other two. They took their seats, and I felt a vague satisfaction at having guessed his House after just a few seconds of contact. I saw a Slytherin girl next to the blond nodding in my direction, and almost immediately he turned towards our table. Our eyes met for a second time, and again I felt like I was being sized up. I stared coldly back at him, and he stood and walked towards us. Harry swore under his breath.

"What the fuck is Malfoy doing coming over here?" Ron cast a nervous glance in my direction.

"I dunno, mate, but I have a feeling he's the new welcoming committee."

And sure enough, the boy — Malfoy —, strutting up to the Gryffindor table, fixed his eyes on me again.

"Hello there," he drawled. "We've not had the….pleasure….of meeting."

The harsh stare he gave me was a guarantee that pleasure was the last thing to be had from him talking to me.

"Come on, Malfoy, get stuffed," Hermione said impatiently. "Don't start trouble for her on her first day."

Malfoy slowly turned towards her. His eyes bored into her, but she stared back as I had done. I could tell there was history between this group.

"I'm sorry, Mudblood, but did it fucking sound like I was talking to you?"

Hermione flushed indignantly and I felt a rush of anger in defense of my new friend.

"Don't talk to her like that," I said furiously. He raised his eyebrows at me.

"I don't think you want to be starting your time here at Hogwarts on that note. What, are you a Mudblood too?"

He said it disdainfully, clearly believing that was the worst possible thing I could be.

"No, I'm not _Muggleborn_. But even if I was, it'd be none of your fucking business."

By this time, many of the Gryffindors had stopped eating and were looking with some degree of concern in our direction. Harry and Ron seemed unsure as to whether or not they should step in, and Hermione and Ginny were looking at me with astonishment. Well, I wasn't in the Merlin-damned House of the brave for nothing. I wasn't about to let some pathetic git talk that way to someone for defending me, and I instinctively knew that to him, this was a test for the new girl. Would I let him walk all over me, or would I stand up to him? I couldn't tell which option he considered passing.

Color rose on his pale cheeks.

"You need to learn to watch your mouth, bitch," he hissed. "I can make you very bloody miserable. You don't want to be here for the next couple of years with me as your enemy."

I just stared at him defiantly. I could tell his temper was rising, and if I could keep calm, it would only make him angrier.

"I don't particularly give a damn if you're my enemy or my friend, and I don't plan on giving any singular person enough power to make me miserable. I'll be nice to those who're nice to me, and those who aren't….I think I can return the favor."

I said all this as evenly as possible. Again, I had guessed things about him correctly, because my refusal to rise to Malfoy's bait infuriated him. I could see his jaw working as he tried to come up with a response, but before he could, I smiled sweetly at him.

"My name is Eleanor Mousseau. And it's my _pleasure_ to meet you, Malfoy."

With that, I turned away from him as Harry and Ron roared with laughter. I grinned at Hermione and Ginny, who had actually high-fived me. Hermione, however, shook her head nervously and watched Malfoy's retreating figure.

"You don't know him like we do, Eleanor. He's not a good person. He really can make you miserable, you didn't have to stick up for me —"

"Hermione, it's okay. You don't know me yet. I'm stronger than you think," I smiled at her reassuringly.

"Well, anyone who can make Malfoy turn tail and run is a friend of mine," Ron said, slinging his arm around my shoulder as we headed out of the Great Hall. "He's a bloody wanker. It's about time someone came along that can rattle him, I think he's gotten used to the three of us fucking with him. Well, the three of us and the rest of the Gryffindors."

"Malfoy isn't liked by anyone except his own House. Even they don't like him, really, just fear him and his father or want to use their power," Harry said bitterly. I looked at him curiously.

"Who's his father?"

Harry looked like he regretted saying anything.

"He's Lucius Malfoy — a Death Eater."

I blanched. Malfoy's father, a Death Eater? Those fuckers were at fault for what happened to my brother….fuck. My standoff with Malfoy suddenly felt a lot more personal. Hermione misread the expression on my face as fear and hurried to reassure me, shooting a glare at Harry.

"Don't worry, Eleanor. His father won't do anything to you because of a little disagreement over breakfast."

Harry reassured me as well, saying that although Malfoy threatened to go to his father over every little thing, he rarely went through with it. We walked towards our first class of the day, History of Magic, which Harry and Ron informed me was the most boring class I would ever take at Hogwarts, while Hermione spluttered a half-hearted defense in the name of protecting education. After an hour and a half of the ghost professor droning on about ancient wars, I had to agree with the boys. We had a short break before our next class, Potions. When I asked about it, the three looked at each other, and then back at me.

"The class is really useful —"

"— Snape is a fucking arse —"

"— we still learn loads —"

I laughed and held up my hands. "I think I get the gist," I said, as we walked into the dungeon. I stopped short, causing the three of them to run into me from behind. Harry looked over my shoulder.

"Ah, shit. I forgot to tell you we double with the Slytherins."

At the sound of Harry's voice, Malfoy had turned to sneer, but paused when he saw me. His eyes turned the color of thunderclouds, and I could almost feel his anger across the dungeon. He said something to the two large boys next to him, and one cracked his knuckles menacingly. I looked at Harry out of the corner of my eye.

"Should I be concerned about the henchmen?"

He chuckled.

"About Crabbe and Goyle? Probably not. They can't act without Malfoy giving them instructions; they're absolute tossers." We made our way to a table in the back just as the professor swept in the doors.

"Sit down. You shouldn't still be talking. We have work to do." His voice was soft but still carried across the classroom. His eyes glinted from a sallow face partially hidden by a sheet of greasy black hair. He looked and sounded dangerous, and I immediately distrusted him.

"I see we have a new student. A transfer," he sneered. He made it sound pathetic and unwelcome and I bristled immediately. He continued, "I hope that Beauxbatons has taught you well enough to scrape by in my class, though I highly doubt it. What is your name?"

I glared at him before replying. "Eleanor Mousseau. Don't worry about me keeping up, I've heard all about you from my Potions teacher at Beauxbatons, and it seems like I'll be more than capable," I finished with a smirk.

The class around me gasped, but Harry and Ron fought to keep from laughing. I don't know what made me say that, maybe it was the way he looked at me so contemptuously or how he had insulted my former school, but I could tell the lie had the desired effect. My teacher had never mentioned him, let alone Hogwarts, but he didn't have to know that. His beady eyes narrowed even further, and I thought I was in serious trouble. However, they quickly widened in surprise as he registered something.

"Mousseau. Father named François?"

" _Stepfather_ ," I replied, narrowing my eyes. How did he know him?

"So that makes your mother Sophia?"

I just looked at him, confused. By this time, Hermione, Harry, and Ron, were looking at each other with some degree of concern, and the rest of the class was staring at me. I could see Malfoy muttering something to Crabbe and Goyle.

"I asked you a question, Eleanor."

"Yes. My mother's name is Sophia. My dog's name is Barker, and I had a fish when I was six that was named Sir Swimmington. Any more bloody questions?"

Hermione let out a little groan and shook her head. I felt the same: I thought I had crossed a line, but Snape didn't become angry. He just continued looking at me with that same cold expression.

"Only a couple. Father's name Edmund? Brother's name Alec?" He knew as soon as he said it that he had struck a nerve, because I stood up quickly.

"I don't know why or how you know my family, but they are none of your damn concern." My pulse was pounding and I was fully aware of the faces turned towards me in shock. Snape still didn't show anger.

"Sit down, Eleanor. I will not tolerate this behavior towards me. You have no idea the things that are my 'concern', so I advise you to think before you speak. Now sit. Down."

I remained standing for a moment longer before slowly sinking back into my seat. I didn't think my legs would have supported me much longer anyways. What did he mean I "have no idea" about my family?

* * *

The day passed in a blur of people congratulating me on and questioning me about my exchange with Snape. My attitude towards him apparently should have warranted detention at the very least, but he let it slide for some unknown reason. As I walked from Divination to Defense Against the Dark Arts with Harry and Ron, they were still discussing why he hadn't called me by my surname as he did all his other disliked students. That was the least strange part of our conversation as far as I was concerned. Why the fuck did he know my family?

I had been warned about Professor Umbridge, and Harry and Ron both told me multiple times as we walked in the classroom to keep my temper, even if Umbridge greeted me as Snape had. Harry showed me scars on the back of his hand from detentions with her, and I felt sick to my stomach. How could she be worse than Snape?

After a class with her, I understood. Her take on the Dark Arts was utterly ridiculous, and it was misinformation like her teaching that had gotten my brother into so much trouble. I didn't trust Snape, but I flat out hated Umbridge. As Hermione, Harry, Ron, and I walked to dinner, we complained about her class and continued to discuss Snape's odd behavior towards me.

"Well, you three were right about him. I don't know who the fuck he thinks he is to tell me I don't know my own family, but — "

"Surely you remember Snape? God, he was quite a mentor to your brother back in the day. You must've seen him around your house at some point."

I whirled around at the sound of the drawling voice tinged with laughter. Malfoy stood leaned against a wall, looking at me with those gray eyes that again sized me up.

"I would be furious, personally, if my parents had never told me about someone like him. But that's right, your father's dead, so I suppose he can't tell you much of anything. Your brother could tell you though — oh wait, he's dead too."

I lunged toward him, but Harry grabbed my arm.

"FUCK YOU," I screamed, trying to get out of Harry's grasp.

"Eleanor, calm down, don't do it, just breathe," Hermione was whispering next to me. "Breathe. He's just messing with your head."

I stopped struggling against Harry as Malfoy walked away, laughing with Crabbe and Goyle. Hermione was retrieving my books from where I had dropped them trying to get to Malfoy, and Harry put an arm around my shoulder as Ron muttered under his breath about hexing Malfoy.

"Eleanor, listen. I don't know what happened to your family, and I won't ask. But if you ever need to talk, don't forget I understand what it's like to lose people you love." Harry gave me a squeeze. "It'll be okay. Trust me."

I closed my eyes and tried to ignore just how intertwined the losing of our families actually was. Harry couldn't know. I mustered up a smile at him and kept walking to dinner so he couldn't examine my expression closer.

"With friends like you, I don't doubt that I'll be okay."

* * *

Please review and leave feedback! Thank you for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

The first Hogsmeade visit of the year was the next day, and excitement was filling the entire castle. I had never been before, so Harry and Ron wasted no time in giving me all the details. When I asked what we should visit first, they looked at each other furtively.

"We, uh, had been meaning to talk to you about that," Ron said, not meeting my eye but looking to Harry for assistance instead. He cleared his throat and also refused to make eye contact.

"I know you're looking forward to seeing the village, but uh. We have another, uh, thing we have to take care of. I mean you can come with us to it —"

"— it's not that we don't want to go with you —"

"— we're just kind of possibly breaking the rules and didn't want you to be involved —"

"— we should have told you sooner so you wouldn't be disappointed —"

"Oh for Merlin's sake," Hermione cut in. "Can't you two see how confused she is?"

I was, in fact, very unsure of what was going on, and had been looking back and forth between them for the entire exchange. If they hadn't wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me, they could have just said so. Hermione shook her head.

"A group of us are meeting tomorrow at the Hog's Head to discuss taking our Defense Against the Dark Arts education into our own hands. These two are trying to keep you out of trouble with you being so new, since this isn't exactly approved of. If you want to learn more, however, you're more than welcome to come."

I thought of Umbridge and her dangerously neglectful approach to the Dark Arts. I was certain "teaching" like hers would get students injured in the real world — students who were naive and undereducated, like my brother. A wave of fierce conviction washed over me, and suddenly I didn't care if I was expelled. I was going to get a good education, damn it. I grinned inwardly, thinking about how much like my new best friend I sounded.

"I'll be there."

* * *

Nearly a week since Hogsmeade had passed, and the first meeting of our little "Dumbledore's Army" had just ended. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I stepped out of the Room of Requirement, headed back to Gryffindor Tower. Harry really was an amazing leader, and I could already tell we were going to learn loads. I couldn't wait to see Umbridge's reaction to us doing incredibly well on our OWLs.

"What are you so happy about, Mousseau?"

I froze in place. Fucking Malfoy. Of course he would be here.

"Are you bloody following me? Sod off."

I made to walk away, trying to put space between us and the Room of Requirement where DA members were still sneaking back to their common rooms, when he stepped over in front of me, glaring down. I was struck by how tall he was as I had to crane my neck to look up at him.

"Believe it or not, I have better things to do than to care about your whereabouts. But now that you mention it, where have you been? You look far too excited about something for this time of night. Don't forget, I'm a prefect," he warned, correctly interpreting my furious expression and quickly opened mouth. I blurted out the first thing I could think of, desperate for him to stop asking things that could lead back to the DA.

"I was off having a snog, if it's that important to you."

His eyes widened marginally in surprise and then iced over.

"Give the poor bloke my condolences. I would expect a pathetic half-blood could only perform half as well as expected," he spat, shoving past me back down the hallway. I stood there, dazed. Where the hell had that anger come from?

* * *

Weeks had passed since my last strange encounter with Malfoy. Since then, he had gone from making it his personal mission to antagonize me at every opportunity to acting as though I didn't exist. I couldn't figure out why that bothered me, and I didn't dare discuss my confusion with Hermione. It was the day of the first Quidditch match of the year, and it happened to be between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Tensions were running high, and I was almost collateral damage from several hexes cast at Harry and Ron. Hermione and I made our way down to the pitch amidst a mass of red and gold, chatting about her progress in knitting hats for SPEW.

We settled down next to Ginny and a girl named Luna who I had grown to like quite a bit despite her obvious oddities. I was enthralled throughout the whole game, as I had never seen one back at Beauxbatons. It was a tense match that ended with Harry being knocked out of the air by a Bludger. Hermione and I clutched each other tightly, screaming loudly and maintaining our hug when we realized he was okay and had gotten the Snitch. Our excitement quickly returned to trepidation when we saw a conflict beginning down on the pitch. The two teams were squared off, and Madam Hooch was nowhere to be seen. I saw a familiar white-blond head facing off against two flaming red and one jet black. Before we had time to question what was happening, Harry and one of the Weasleys jumped on Malfoy.

I screamed "no" so loudly that my throat burned, and Hermione let out a cry. We sprinted down the stands towards the commotion, and I could already see blood. I realized with a shock I wasn't sure if I had screamed for Malfoy or not and stumbled down the last few stairs. Ginny grabbed my arm to steady me as we kept running. We caught up to the crowd just in time to see Harry and George stalking off towards the castle. I tried to avoid looking at Malfoy, who was lying on the ground, a bloody mess. I was horrified when I finally saw his face. It was almost unrecognizable from cuts and swelling. What the fuck had he done to make them attack him like this? Ginny was talking to Fred, who had been held back by all three Chasers. She looked sick to her stomach and mad as hell, and came back to relate Malfoy's taunts.

Fury swelled up inside me. What was it with him and insulting the dead? First my family, then Harry's? And why did he think money was enough reason to be an arse to the Weasleys? Any sympathy I had felt at the sight of his bloodied face evaporated — well, most of it, anyway.

Sitting in the common room later that night, I felt claustrophobic. The atmosphere was stifled with disappointment as everyone contemplated the season with three of the best players removed from the team. I didn't think I could stand being in the common room much longer, but I was too restless to go the way of the many people who went to bed early. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were staring out the window, so I ducked out of the portrait hole while they were distracted.

I knew it was close to curfew, so I hurried through the halls, trying to make myself tired enough to collapse in bed later. My brain buzzed with confused thoughts about both the fight and my own reaction to it. Before I realized just how distracted I had become, I found myself in a part of the castle I had never been in before. I was getting slightly concerned I was lost and about to get detention for being out of bed after hours. I sped around a corner hoping it was the right direction, ran into something very solid, and fell flat on my back.

The something very solid swore under its breath and I recognized the voice immediately. Could my luck get any worse than running into Malfoy right then? It was dark enough that he may not have noticed who I was, so I attempted to scramble back around the corner and hide. Before I could get very far, an arm shot down and yanked me to my feet. Malfoy pushed me up against the wall and shone the light from his wand in my face. He stepped back in shock, cursing again.

"Mousseau, why the fuck do I keep finding you wandering the halls?"

I looked at him defiantly, my back still against the wall.

"I suppose you don't want to hear I've been off snogging again, do you?"

He snarled and moved closer to me again. My heart started pounding. He had obviously tried to heal himself after the fight rather than go to the hospital wing, because blood still covered his pale face. His eyes were such a dark gray they almost blended with his pupils, and he looked positively dangerous.

"I'm not in the mood for your attitude right now, you fucking bitch," he hissed. He was standing so close to me that there were hardly a few inches between our faces. I drew in a sharp breath involuntarily, and a smirk spread across his face. He shifted so that his arm rested on the wall beside me, caging me in. What the fuck was he playing at? I moved, trying to create distance between me and this confusing as hell boy, but he moved with me, maintaining the closeness. As seemed to be a habit with Malfoy, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind to make him back off.

"Are you okay after today?"

I don't know who was more surprised that I had shown concern for him, but it had the effect I had wanted. He jerked back a few paces, looking at me through narrowed eyes.

"Why the bloody hell does it matter to you?"

I shrugged. "I guess it doesn't. Sorry for trying to be a friend."

Again, I was surprised at my own admission. I hadn't meant it until I said it, but I realized it was true: for some fucking ridiculous reason, I was attempting to be friends with this wanker. Unidentifiable emotions crossed his face, but it settled on fury.

"I don't need trash like you to be my fucking friend. In fact, I don't need for you to do anything except stay out of my fucking way. You don't know what I'm capable of."

I bristled. Was he actually referencing his Death Eater lineage right now, to _me_ of all people, when he already apparently knew what had happened to my brother?

"Oh, I'm sure I do know. You're capable of hiding behind your loser of a father and his pathetic friends while they ride the power surge of fear after Voldemort's return. You're capable of being a coward but still taunting people to hide that you're scared. You're —"

This time when he pushed me against the wall, it was much harder. Lights danced in front of my eyes as my head made contact with the stone. His wand pressed into my throat and his hand gripped my arm so tightly I knew I would have bruises for days.

"Don't — just. Fucking. Don't," he spat, shaking me roughly. My dominant emotion was somewhere between fear and anger, but as he disappeared down the corridor, it shifted to entirely anger. How dare he treat me that way? For him to constantly brag about his pristine Pureblood manners, he sure as hell didn't know that you don't push a woman around. Then I realized with perfect clarity that I wasn't a woman that deserved respect, as far as he was concerned. I was lower class, half-blooded. He would push me around as much as he wanted and still have the identification of "well-mannered."

And sure enough, in the weeks that followed, his attitude toward me darkened. He stopped ignoring me, but now went beyond antagonizing me to outright abuse. He shoved me whenever he passed me in the corridors, tried to hex me at every possible moment, and spread as many vicious rumors as he could think of. The DA started taking turns walking me back to Gryffindor Tower after meetings, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione hardly ever left my side. I hadn't told them about my confrontation with him that night after the Quidditch match, so they were lost as to why he was so hostile. I was too, to an extent. Why had my words affected him so strongly?

* * *

The ending of the term arrived, and I was almost relieved to be leaving. Maybe some Christmas cheer would make Malfoy stop being such a Merlin-damned bastard. Classwork had been at an all time high for us fifth years, and I had felt like I was drowning. Harry and Ron had disappeared in the middle of the night a day previously, leaving Hermione and I worried sick. She promised to let me know what was wrong as soon as she found out, but I was slightly resentful I would have to return to my mother and be left out of whatever was going on.

I took one last walk through the snow to try and cheer up before boarding the train. Heading back towards the entrance hall, I saw a familiar blond making his way down the front steps. I groaned inwardly. Unless I ran back into the cold, I couldn't possibly avoid him. My feet were already numb and I was running late to get my trunk, and my anger towards him was building up. Steeling myself and ignoring the little voice that warned it was dangerous to be alone anywhere near him, I stalked past Malfoy into the castle.

"Oi, Mousseau."

I kept walking. I couldn't stop now, couldn't stop to see what he was going to do without my friends around me

"Mousseau. I'm fucking talking to you."

I slowly turned to look at him against my better judgement.

"I don't care what you're doing, Malfoy. Leave me alone today. Please."

He looked confused by my moderately polite response but recovered quickly, changing his expression into a sneer.

"Did wee Potty's wittle vision give you a fright? Now that you know that you're starting to see what he can do, are you scared?"

"What the fuck are you on about?"

He let out a wild laugh. "Don't tell me you don't know! My God, I thought you were friends with the Golden Trio, but looks like I was bloody wrong if they can't even tell you what's going on with precious Potter."

I tried not to show that he had struck a nerve by voicing something I had always known. I wasn't as close to the three as everyone seemed to think. They were bonded by things I couldn't possibly understand. I was in fact what I had worried about from the moment I stepped into Dumbledore's office: an outsider.

"That's okay," I said, trying to keep my voice level. "They don't have to tell me everything. Just because you're too insecure and pathetic to understand real trust and real friendship doesn't mean I am."

There was a bang and a flash of light, and I threw myself behind a statue. Malfoy's cold laugh echoed throughout the hall.

"You can talk a big talk, but you like to play hide and seek — just like your brother."

Before his words sank in, I heard his footsteps continue outside. I let myself slump to the ground. When was I going to start fighting back with something other than words? Merlin knows I had enough pent up anger. But every time I started to retaliate, I heard my brother's voice, reminding me that calm always wins. Why did I continue to listen when that advice worked out so poorly for him?

My brain twisted and burned with Malfoy's taunts over the next few days. At first I thought they were just that: empty words to make me question myself. But after almost a week into break and no word from Hermione as had been promised, I was becoming angry. Why not just tell me they didn't trust me enough to fully be their friend? I would have understood, even preferred that to being shut out with no explanation. An owl finally came from Hermione, asking about my plans for the rest of break, but I sent back some shit reply about spending time with family. I didn't think I could face any of them just then.

So I sat in my room and thought about how things would change once I returned to Hogwarts. I found myself thinking about Malfoy, too, but it only made my stomach churn and my pulse rise. What had happened to start this feud between us, and what had made it escalate so much? Surely my sass towards him one morning at breakfast wasn't enough. I supposed that sometimes, when you set two stubborn people with such opposite views of life against each other, this sort of thing was bound to happen — it was inevitable.

* * *

Thank you for reading! Please review to let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

The second day of the second term found me greeted by the Golden Trio and the news of ten Death Eaters escaping from Azkaban. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and I sat in silence at breakfast, shocked by the news. Rage that had died down over the break flared back up when I saw Malfoy and his fellow Slytherins having a bloody party at their table.

"The fucking tossers," Ron said through a mouthful of kipper. Harry didn't reply, only stared into space. I couldn't help wondering what he was thinking about, and was reminded of his supposed vision Malfoy had mentioned.

"Yes, well, they'll get what's coming to them soon enough," Hermione said in a brisk tone before disappearing back behind her newspaper. I felt awkward around the three of them and couldn't tell if it was because of my own doubts or because they really were pushing me away. Making some excuse about having left something in the dorm, I left breakfast but didn't head for Gryffindor Tower. I sat on the main stairs in the entrance hall with my chin resting on my knees. The Death Eaters' escape hit me harder than I expected. I knew those names. They had been ingrained in me since I could talk. Where were they now?

"Oh, hello there, Ellie," a soft voice from behind me said. I turned, already smiling and knowing who it was. Luna was the only person that called me by that nickname, but I actually liked it.

"Morning, Luna. How was your break?"  
"It was quite wonderful. Daddy and I think we found a mating spot for Blibbering Humdingers."

I wasn't quite sure how to reply to that, so I nodded politely. More footsteps clattered down the stairs, and Neville came into view. He looked about as bad as I felt, and I remembered with a jolt that his parents had been tortured by the Lestrange bitch. But I wasn't supposed to know that, I couldn't know that without him understanding….

It felt even worse knowing that there was yet another person besides Harry that I could relate to but could never let know. I smiled at him and patted the step next to me. He sat down without a word. Luna and I settled on either side of him, our arms all intertwined. It was nice, the unspoken agreement to not talk, but to just sit and be together.

"Well if it isn't the chain of freaks," came a drawling voice.

Neville and I lept to our feet, pulling out our wands. We each shouted a jinx, our voices and spells intermingling so that Malfoy was knocked onto his arse. He clutched his face in pain.

"You'll fucking pay for this," he muttered as Crabbe and Goyle guided him towards the hospital wing. Neville and I regarded each other with interest. Neither of us were the kind to fight, so each of us knew that we were more provoked by Malfoy than usual. For a moment, I thought I saw understanding in Neville's face and was afraid he would ask the obvious question: what did the Death Eaters take from you? Instead, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and we waved goodbye to Luna, making our way to Charms. I didn't think I had ever felt so thankful for a simple gesture in my entire life.

* * *

The next couple of weeks passed in a blur of DA meetings and classwork. I knew Hermione could tell something was wrong, but she could also tell I wasn't prepared to talk about it. In truth, there were so many things I was concerned about that I couldn't have begun to explain. The escape of the Death Eaters was constantly in the back of my mind, fueling a slow burning fire that I knew was becoming dangerous. Harry had commented on both mine and Neville's increased performance during meetings, and I only hoped he didn't guess the cause. I was still shutting myself off from my trio of friends, because I had a feeling that if they chose to explain what they were keeping from me, I would have some explaining to do of my own that I wasn't prepared for. Malfoy still lurked in the corners of my vision, casting hexes at my turned back and muttering nasty things under his breath. I ignored him the best I could, but knowing his familial connection to the Death Eaters only helped build the fire as well.

The second Hogsmeade visit and Valentine's Day were only two days away, but I couldn't make myself be excited. This time last year I had a large group of friends and an incredible boyfriend, but now I had neither. Harry had a date with some Ravenclaw, Hermione was meeting a mystery person in the Three Broomsticks, and Ron had Quidditch practice. I was going to be completely alone.

"Eleanor….ELLIE."

The use of my nickname by someone other than Luna startled me out of my reverie. Hermione was standing next to my armchair looking exasperated.

"Eleanor, for Merlin's sake, would you snap out of it? We need to talk."

Harry and Ron were behind her, so I understood "we" included them as well. I followed her over to a back corner of the common room where they all sat down, looking furtive. I was becoming increasingly curious. Were they finally about to explain what had been going on?

They were. They took turns explaining Harry seeing Mr. Weasley being attacked, that they were a part of a secret group that was fighting against Voldemort, about Hagrid's mission to find giants, and that they hadn't told me before because they weren't sure how much of a risk I was willing to take or how I would react to the news. I looked at them in turn, trying to absorb what I had just been told. Part of a secret group? It couldn't be like the Order of the Phoenix, could it? That had ended even before my brother's life had.

"So….Harry can see into Voldemort's mind?"

Their shock was almost comical. I cursed inwardly, remembering that not many people at all used his name. That was bound to raise some questions. And sure enough, Harry asked almost immediately, but I deflected, saying I guess them saying it had rubbed off. He and Ron seemed convinced, but Hermione still looked confused. Damn having made friends with the smartest witch in the year. I knew I owed them explanations, especially after them being honest with me, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was too shameful and too raw. I still had so many questions, but ones that I couldn't ask without giving away too much. Was the Order back? Was that why my mother had been so eager to come back to Britain?

Harry and Ron said their goodnights and wandered off to their dorm, and I realized that Hermione was talking again.

"….Rita Skeeter on Saturday. Harry doesn't know yet, but if she knows what's good for her, she's going to tell his side of the story. That's why we came to you to explain tonight. We want you on our side and prepared for the backlash that's going to come. But if you don't want to be around as often now that you know what danger surrounds us, or don't want to be friends with us at all anymore, we understand. But….please think about it. It's been so nice having you to be close to, I haven't had a female friend like you in ages," she finished, staring at me slightly teary eyed. My heart warmed immediately. How had I been so obtuse before? They were protecting me, not shutting me out.

I hugged Hermione tightly.

"This fight is important to me too. I'm not going anywhere."

She beamed at me, and we walked arm in arm up to our dorm. She had no idea just how important this was. I wouldn't miss having the opportunity to be smack in the middle for anything.

* * *

Saturday morning I was sitting in the common room, watching Harry nervously try and smooth his mess of black hair and Hermione waiting impatiently for an owl. When it came, she yelled loudly and told Harry to meet her at the Three Broomsticks, and I knew Rita had replied. She had asked me to come with her, but I thought the meeting should stay between people directly involved. She looked disappointed, even more so when I told her I wasn't going to Hogsmeade at all. There were other people I could have gone with, sure, but I had been struck by a sudden inspiration: Snape had known my family, and with everyone else gone, I could go talk to him without a chance of interruption.

The moment the trio set off to their respective destinations, waving goodbye, I sprinted down to the dungeons, arriving very much out of breath. I knocked on the door, and a moment later it opened, Snape staring down at me through a sheet of greasy hair.

"Eleanor. Why are you not in Hogsmeade with your little friends," he asked, putting as much contempt into his question as possible.

"I need to talk to you."

"Oh? What could possibly be so important that you skip a day of delightful merrymaking, and on Valentine's Day, no less."

His mouth twitched, disdain not even disguised.

"My family. Why did you know them? Did you know my brother because of the Death Eaters or the Order of the Phoenix?"

Snape's eyes and nostrils widened, and he yanked me by my collar into the room, slamming the door behind him.

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me. Are you a Death Eater, or are you in the Order of the Phoenix? Malfoy told me you were a mentor to my brother, so you had to have been in one or the other."

His face had gone white. "You would do well to never speak of this again. As much as you think you are entitled to information, you are not. My relationship with your brother is none of your concern. Now get out, and do not ever attempt to question me about this again."

He shoved me out of the door and closed it back quickly, almost catching my cloak in it. I stared at it in shock, and considered knocking again. No, my life was worth more than making him even more angry than he was now. Disappointment welled up inside me. I just wasted a chance to go to Hogsmeade for nothing. I wandered back through the halls, wondering if it would be possible to sneak to Hogsmeade after all.

"Don't tell me you've been off snogging again."

I turned and was shocked to find Malfoy smiling at me. I frowned, disconcerted.

"I've been to see Snape, so I'll let you work that out for yourself."

He let out a laugh, and I stopped trying to hide my surprise. He was being too nice after months of antagonization. He had to just be trying to get me to let my guard down. I was sure that a few jabs to his ego would make him snap, and then I could be on my way. I wasn't in the mood for a drawn out confrontation.

"Why aren't you and Pansy off snogging to celebrate today?"

He rolled his eyes. "I can snog her whenever I want. Plus I'm getting tired of her constant bitching. I needed some time alone."

"Cocky bastard," I muttered under my breath. He raised his eyebrows, and I asked, "If you want to be alone, why are you standing here talking to me?"

He tilted his head, appraising me. "You know, that's quite a good question."

What was he playing at? No hexes had been fired, no horrid comment about my dead family, no half-blood put down. I wondered vaguely if he had received a Cheering Charm. Our eyes locked together as he took a step towards me. I stood my ground. I didn't know what he was on about, but I was tired of hiding and running away. A little voice in the back of my mind reminded me everyone was in Hogsmeade, and that if he hexed me, it would be hours before someone found me. Another step put him directly in front of me, just as close as he had been the night of our first big argument. His eyes, now molten silver, didn't look away. Neither of us spoke, and I couldn't actually tell if I was breathing. After minutes, or seconds, I don't know, he leaned towards me.

"I'm sorry."

And then he kissed me on the forehead. And then he walked away.

What in the bloody name of Merlin had just happened? I sat in the common room that night, barely listening to Hermione and Harry as they recounted to Ron and I what was said in the interview. All I could think of was my encounter with Malfoy that afternoon. Why the sudden gentleness? And why the _fuck_ a kiss? I hardly noticed Harry and Ron leave to go to bed. The moment they disappeared up the winding staircase, Hermione turned to me with a wary look on her face.

"Okay, what happened today? You look like you've been Confunded, and you've touched your forehead more times than I can count."

I hesitated, knowing that what I was about to explain was ridiculous and made me seem suspiciously concerned with Malfoy's behavior and feelings. I launched into the explanation anyway, catching her up on all our encounters and ending with that afternoon's. Her eyes widened throughout my story. From an outsider's perspective, it had seemed like Malfoy simply chose me as a bullying target. No one had known about any of our conversations.

"Ellie, I have no idea why he's changed his attitude all of a sudden," Hermione said reluctantly. I could see the wheels starting to turn in her mind and knew she was going to become determined to solve this mystery. I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant, and told her I was going to bed. I walked up the stairs and left her by the fire. The only thing I knew for certain was that we would both be thinking about Malfoy all night long.

* * *

Far more quickly than seemed possible, April had arrived, leaving less than eight weeks until exams, but I could hardly concentrate on my schoolwork. Malfoy had gone back to ignoring me, and it was making me angrier with every passing day. He had apologized, but for what? The way he had been treating me? For knowing that he was going to start pretending as though I didn't exist? I knew I had more important things to worry about than a fucking git like him, namely Umbridge and her increasing reign over Hogwarts. It was becoming harder to have DA meetings, even with the help of Hermione's coins. They had quickly become my favorite thing about the days that passed, providing me an outlet for my anger while allowing me to help other people and prevent the same issue that had gotten my brother killed.

After a particularly rough Defense Against the Dark Arts class and barely eating dinner, I got to the DA meeting early. I entered the Room of Requirement to see a bright silver stag cantering around the room.

"Hullo, Ellie. Just practicing for the meeting. We're going to do Patronuses tonight."

I grinned in excitement. I had been wanting to try this for a while. My smile faltered for a moment, however, as people started filing in the room. What happy thought was I going to use right now? I took a deep breath and concentrated on my brother's laugh as we played in the backyard as children. A bright shape flew from my wand, filling me with pride. Soon the room was glowing from the light of shining animals, and I watched fondly as my peacock floated around me. This was one of the best lessons so far. A warm happiness filled me and my Patronus glowed brighter in response.

Suddenly the door opened, and a small house elf made his way over to Harry. He seemed to be punishing himself for something, and people gradually got quiet in order to hear the conversation. Harry suddenly looked stricken.

"Is she coming?"

I knew immediately he meant Umbridge. We all looked at each other in horror, dreading the elf's response.

"Yes, Harry Potter, yes," he yelled, and we froze. Harry whirled around.

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? RUN!"

People flooded out the door, and I was swept along with them. I tried to fight my way back to Harry, but the everyone was moving too quickly. Hermione popped out of the crowd and grabbed my arm. "Eleanor, come on, we can't help him now. We have to hide."

I aimed towards the girls' bathroom, but Hermione kept tugging me further away. "No, that'll be too obvious, we have to get to the library."

I nodded, and we joined Ron who had appeared by Hermione's side, panting. I looked behind me one last time, desperately trying to find Harry, when I saw a familiar white blond head sprinting towards the commotion. Malfoy cast a spell at Harry that caused him to fall and skid across the floor. He called to Professor Umbridge, who came waddling around a corner. Hermione gasped, and Ron pushed us flat against the wall so we wouldn't be seen. Umbridge's fat mouth was spread in a smile so wide her face looked distorted. She led Harry off to Dumbledore's office, telling Malfoy to round up any others he could find. He nodded curtly, and turned in our direction so quickly we didn't have time to hide.

Time stopped as we made eye contact for the first time in months. Ron cursed under his breath, knowing we were caught.

"There's a girl hiding in here," came the shrieking voice of Pansy, who had been sent to check the bathrooms as Hermione had correctly guessed. Malfoy backed down the hallway towards her, never breaking his stare.

"I can't find anyone else up here, Pans. Let's check the library."

He finally turned his back and we breathed out a collective sigh of relief.

"Why the bloody hell did he just cover for us? That slimy git would never pass up an opportunity to fuck us over," Ron sputtered, sounding bewildered.

"Oh, I have a few ideas," said Hermione, eyeing me in a way that made a blush creep up my face. Ron didn't notice her tone of voice or the way she looked at me, but continued muttering about a "loathsome wanker" and something "bloody confusing" as we made our way back to Gryffindor Tower to wait on Harry. I couldn't help but laugh at Ron's reaction, having felt that same confusion over the last few months for myself.


	5. Chapter 5

The following week found the school in a state of shock. Umbridge was now Headmistress. I could hardly believe Harry's recountment of the events that took place in Dumbledore's office, and I felt ashamed that something I took so much pleasure from had gotten Dumbledore into trouble. Select students had been made members of the Inquisitorial Squad, Umbridge's private police force. They were given even more power than prefects, and they abused it without a second thought. Malfoy was among them, and it annoyed me to no end to see him prance through the halls wearing that same smirk and a shiny new _I_ badge.

With the Easter Holidays days away, the Weasley twins had set off magical fireworks of their own invention that drove Umbridge mad, and I had received a letter from my mother saying she had gotten permission from Dumbledore to let me come visit over the break. After months of craziness like this, I would usually be thrilled to see my mother, but now that I was on the way home, I couldn't imagine seeing her. She would know immediately something was wrong, but I didn't know how to explain, particularly when she had explaining of her own to do. How could she have not mentioned Snape, knowing he was my professor? Normally Mum and I loved gossiping over boys and silly things. We viewed it as our guilty pleasure; it had been a way to make ourselves feel better under the totalitarianism of my stepfather. Something kept me from wanting to explain Malfoy, however, particularly when I realized with a shock I didn't even know his first name. My mother wouldn't let _that_ slide without comment.

Mum was more distracted than usual, but after walking in the living room to find her fighting with my stepfather through the Floo, I just chalked it up to marriage problems. Merlin knows she had enough of those. Things seemed to clear up fairly quickly though, with her interrogating me on cute boys at Hogwarts and insisting we go shopping. This was normal: girl talk and retail therapy. So Mum and I spent the most beautiful spring day so far walking around Diagon Alley. I replenished my school supplies and Mum got new robes for work. We stopped for lunch and ice cream from Fortescue's, and I had barely taken my first bite when I dropped it down my front, mint ice cream coating my hair.  
Mum snorted and waved her wand, cleaning me up.

"Okay, love, I knew you were going to have changed when you came home, but I didn't think you'd change back to a toddler."  
I barely heard her, because the reason I had dropped my ice cream was walking towards us, his white blonde head clearly visible moving through the crowd. We hadn't seen each other since he inexplicably let Hermione, Ron, and I get away. I had no idea where I stood with him, but I wasn't about to figure it out in front of my mother.  
"Uh, Mum, I see one of my friends, I'm going to go say hello."

Before she had a chance to comment, I darted into the store on our left, hoping Malfoy hadn't seen me. I found myself in Flourish and Blotts, and was relieved to have books to occupy a bit of time that was supposed to be used catching up with a classmate. I walked towards the first shelf and began browsing when the tinkle of a bell signaled someone's entrance into the shop. I paid it no mind until I heard a drawling voice and realized who had entered.

"Mother, really. Don't you have enough books already? It's my school break, for Merlin's sake, can't we do something more interesting than wander through a stuffy book shop?"

I threw myself behind the case I had just been looking at and resisted the urge to burst out laughing. Why did I always end up in Malfoy's path? He continued grumbling towards his mother who seemed to be ignoring him for the most part. Good to know it wasn't just me he reserved that attitude for. He eventually wandered away from her and I kept my eye on him, making sure he couldn't see me. It was strange, looking at him for such an extended period of time with no interaction, but it gave me a chance to notice things about him that I never had before — things I wish I hadn't noticed once I did — namely the fact that he was extremely attractive. It was embarrassing to realize and seemed stupid that I hadn't seen it until then, but there it was. Maybe it was because he wasn't harassing or casting hexes at me that made the difference, but I couldn't stop staring at the way the light shone off his hair and created shadows that contoured his jawline and cheekbones. He had an old world aristocratic grace that combined with the wicked gleam from those strange gray eyes to make a bad boy beauty.

I was so caught up in staring at him uninterrupted that I was caught off guard by him turning in my direction. I quickly turned into the next aisle of books, unsure of whether or not he had seen me. I walked down the aisle before realizing with a sinking feeling it was a dead end.

"Are you following me? Have something to say to me, Mousseau?"

Damn. I continued looking at the shelf I was in front of, pretending to be in search of something.

"No, Malfoy. Don't you think I would have bloody acknowledged you by now?"

It was killing me to not see his reaction, and if we hadn't been in a public place, I wouldn't have dared kept my back to him. Even so, it wasn't a good idea, because before I sensed him coming towards me, he had grabbed my arm and spun me around. We were nose to nose yet again, and I could feel the covers of the books behind me pressing into my shoulder blades.

"I'd think a thank you might be in order," he hissed, eyes flashing. "I saved you and your bloody friends from Umbridge, if you remember correctly. You owe me, and the Weasel and Mudblood certainly do."

My anger flared up at his insults to my friends, particularly Hermione. I pushed hard on his chest and he stumbled back a couple feet before regaining his footing. I drew myself up to my full height, ignoring the fact that I was still and good foot shorter than him and how his eyes flashed steel gray at my reaction.

"You arrogant bastard. We don't owe you a damn thing. I appreciate the effort it took for you being a decent human being, but we didn't ask you to do it. I gladly would have served detention along with the others if it meant shortening my interactions with you, let alone having you think you're entitled to us giving you something in return. However, I'm sorry that you do think we owe you, and I'm sorry for thinking you had it in you to just do something good for once in your life without an agenda."

He took another step towards me, and I tried to shove past him back down the aisle. He took up too much space, though, and grabbed my wrist before I could get by. He yanked my arm up behind my back, forcing me to turn with my face into the bookcase. Now I could feel him pressed into my back, and I mentally chastised myself for thinking how much I prefered him to the books. He growled into my ear.

"Damn it, Mousseau. Can't you just be grateful I helped you and your friends that I fucking hate? Did you ever stop to think why I did it? Or did you think that by 'owe me' I just meant owe me the thank you? Or maybe just the decency of looking at me like I'm not scum?"

He released my arm and stepped back, looking angrier than I'd seen him in a long time. With a twinge of guilt, I realized he was right, in a way. We could have thanked him. The act was certainly more than we would have done for him if the roles were reversed, and we both knew it. I opened my mouth to apologize, but he held up a hand, his eyes softening slightly.

"Forget it. It's alright. I shouldn't have snapped."

Before I could say a single word, he was gone. I didn't want to admit it, but I did feel indebted to him, which made me angry for countless reasons. I was about fed up with every encounter with Malfoy ending in a row and having them affect me the way they did. But it's not like we were going to change our behaviors towards each other any time soon.

* * *

I hardly had time to think about Malfoy once school started again. Teachers seemed determined to drown us in exam preparation. The end of May brought a rising sense of panic among us fifth years and excitement about the Quidditch final. Hermione, Harry, and I made our way down to the pitch and bid an incredibly nervous Ron good luck. We settled in our seats as the game began, but I was distracted by a blonde head moving through the stands. Malfoy had exited the stadium and was making his way back up to the castle. Making a decision I was sure I would regret, I told Harry and Hermione I wasn't feeling well and followed Malfoy back inside.

I followed him silently through a maze of corridors. I debated on what I should say, or if I should say anything at all. I had no good reason for being here, but the longer I followed him, the more suspicious it would look.

"Oi, Malfoy."

He whipped around with a startled expression on his face, and I felt a vague satisfaction at having caught him off guard. Surprise changed to anger, and I couldn't help but remember our last confrontation in Flourish and Blotts.

"You really are following me. You better have something to say this time."

"I do have a question. Why did you go to the match only to leave?"

He stiffened. "I don't see how that's any of your bloody business," he spat, crossing his arms over his body. I raised my eyebrows at the defensive gesture.

"Maybe not, but that doesn't mean I'm not curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat, Mousseau. Now sod off."

Now I really was curious. What reason did he have to be this evasive about? Against my better judgement, I decided to prod him to see if he'd eventually confess. I was betting he was on his way to shag Pansy.

"What, feeling guilty that you couldn't get your team into the finals? Couldn't stand to watch the match you could have played in if you weren't a bloody awful Seeker?"

His eyes flashed silver before he turned away, his hands clenched at his sides. I regretted my words, having seen his expression and realizing I had been right. I unconsciously moved to comfort him but drew back before my hand touched him. I didn't think that would be welcome at the moment. As I was considering just walking away, he started speaking, still facing the wall.

"Yes, Mousseau. You're right. You're bloody fucking right, are you happy? I let my team down, let fucking Potter get the Gryffindors into the championship. He's banned from the sodding team and people still see him as the great one. I didn't want to sit there and watch his team, is that so hard to believe?"

I didn't know how to respond. I hadn't known that Malfoy actually cared about Quidditch. Before then, I had thought it was just another way to get to Harry for him, not something he enjoyed. I felt guilty for rubbing it in.

"I'm sorry," I said simply. I hesitated for half a second before this time allowing my hand to rest on his shoulder. He turned towards me slowly and I wished I wouldn't have stepped closer to him. His eyes burned that same silver with something identifiable.

"Would you….want to walk with me?"

I just stared at him, uncomprehending. Color rose on his cheeks when I didn't answer.

"Or not. Bloody hell."

"No, sorry, it's just….that would mean spending more time with me, and you generally try to avoid that."

He chuckled slightly and started off down the corridor. I took it that I should follow him, and jogged a bit to catch up. We were once again in a part of the castle that I didn't recognize, and I considered asking where we were going. He seemed preoccupied, and I figured I had asked enough questions for one day anyway. I allowed myself to watch how the torchlight reflected off his hair, giving him a heavenly glow that he didn't deserve. I snorted to myself, and he turned to look at me, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

"Care to share?"

I blushed. No way I was letting him know I had been thinking of how attractive he was yet again, this time picturing him as a dark angel. That description fit him so well — angelic face, demonic behavior. That smirk was certainly working with the dark image, as well as making my blush deepen. I shook my head, but by now he had noticed my reaction.

"Come on, Mousseau. I showed you mine; show me yours."

The smirk was still firmly in place, and I was getting whiplash from switching between angry and flirty Malfoy. But Merlin, I knew which one I preferred. Before I could chicken out, I decided to play his game.

"Just thinking of you."

"And what about me," he asked, his voice going even deeper than normal and causing my pulse to pick up.

"I think I'll just let you wonder about that part," I retorted, and was embarrassed to realize my voice had gotten huskier as well.

His eyes widened slightly, the gray deepening as he stared me down. I drew courage from the knowledge that my words were getting a reaction, and decided for one more bold move.

"….Or I could show you."

And I stepped forward and pressed my lips to his.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you to **DracoWinchester** for being an absolutely wonderful beta reader!

* * *

I felt Malfoy hesitate, and I started to pull away in mortification. Before I could even get far enough to separate us, he wrapped his hand in my hair and drew me back to him. His lips molded to mine, and just as I was thinking this was an oddly tender kiss coming from Malfoy, he pushed me up against the wall, pinning me with his body. He tugged my hair, tilting my head back and giving him easier access to my neck; I thought distractedly that he was certainly going to leave a mark. I ran my nails down his back and felt a shiver go through him, and I smiled into the kiss. With that, it became a contest of who could get the other to react. He won when his hand slipped under the band of my skirt to grab my ass and I gasped audibly. He let out a low chuckle, and I opened my eyes to meet his. They had gone black so that his pupils were indistinguishable. Incomprehensible thoughts about dark angels crossed my mind again, and I yanked him back down to my lips.

The reconnected kiss became even rougher and more desperate, as he intertwined his fingers with mine to press my arms to the wall above my head. I could feel his growing hardness against my stomach, and I shifted into him, smiling again when he growled in frustration. He pushed his hips into me so that every inch of me was caught between him and the wall. I wanted to touch him, and it was only then that I realized I had wanted it for a long time. I tried to pull my hands free, but he just shook his head with a smirk and returned his mouth to my ear, my collarbone, my chest. This one snog had me more flustered than anything I had ever done with my previous boyfriends, but somehow I wasn't surprised. I found myself belatedly thinking that Pansy Parkinson was a lucky bitch.

A rush of footsteps suddenly came into earshot further down the corridor, and we looked at each other with some degree of alarm, me more so than Malfoy. For him, this would just be another conquest. For me, I would have some serious explaining to do. Keeping his hold on one of my hands, he yanked me behind a tapestry into an alcove I hadn't noticed. We were pressed tightly together, and I could still feel his growth pressing into my ass. Smirking, I wiggled back into him and heard his sharp intake of breath. I turned toward him and pressed a finger to my lips, gesturing to the corridor where people were returning from the match. He grabbed my chin and pulled me toward him for another kiss, and the next few minutes of waiting for students to get back to their dorms was well spent.

Once the crowd cleared, Malfoy and I stepped back out into the corridor. He looked about as disheveled as I felt, so I made a mental note to stop by a bathroom before going into the common room. We walked in silence back through the halls, glancing at each other out of the corners of our eyes. I made a concentrated effort not to start over thinking what had just happened — or think about it at all. We reached the place where we had to branch off, and Malfoy looked me up and down with that blazing look in his eye once again.

"Mousseau….I'm pretty damn glad you followed me today," he said, and sauntered off towards the Slytherin dungeons. On a whim, I called after him.

"Oh, hey, Malfoy, by the way — those times we ran into each other? I hadn't been off snogging." I gave him a half smile and started the climb to Gryffindor Tower. I don't know what made me admit that to him. I also don't know what possessed me to snog him like that. As I got closer to the common room, I felt my panic rising. I darted into a bathroom and suppressed a yelp at my reflection. My curls were wild and messy, and several marks spotted my neck. My eyes were too bright and my cheeks were too flushed. Even Ron, oblivious as he was to most things, would be able to tell what I'd been doing. I cast a few glamour charms over myself, mostly to hide the marks. With the problem of my appearance taken care of, new ones popped into my mind.

This was the boy who had spent the last eight months making my life hell. He had Death Eater connections, and he knew more about my family than he was willing to tell me. I had every reason in the world not to trust him. He played games with me, hexed me, and regularly made me feel worthless. Why the fuck had I just snogged him while my friends thought I was in the hospital wing? I closed my eyes to splash cold water on my face, but I saw him leaning over me, pressing into me, and I wrenched them back open. This was going to be an issue.

* * *

I was spared thinking about what had happened for about a day. I had entered the common room to a roar of sound, celebrating the Gryffindor win of the Cup. Ron was the hero of the game, and kept repeating key points with pride. I felt guilty that I had missed them, but I quickly realized Harry and Hermione were having the same reaction. Where had they been?

Sitting out by the lake on Sunday, they finally explained to Ron and I about Grawp, Hagrid's half brother. My mouth dropped open in shock, and Ron whirled around to face the Forbidden Forest as though he expected to see the giant coming towards us, causing the rest of us to laugh.

We spent the rest of the day lounging around outside, talking, laughing, and speculating about Umbridge, OWLs, and Grawp. We tried to enjoy the day as much as possible, knowing that with one week until testing began, our lives were about to be hell. As we all bid each other goodnight and headed to our separate dorms, I finally worked up the courage to talk to Hermione about the previous day.

She listened carefully to my concerns and fears, and spent a few moments in silence after I was done. She gave me a half smile and sighed.

"Well, as to the snogging, I can't say much, as I've only snogged Viktor Krum. And my situation was much simpler than yours. We weren't enemies, we were friends."

I couldn't help wondering at Hermione's reaction if she knew how complicated it truly was. I still hadn't told anyone about my connection to the Death Eaters, and therefore to Malfoy. The trio knew from hearing some of Malfoy's snide comments that he knew my family, but that wasn't uncommon in the small wizarding community, so they hadn't questioned it further. Hermione promised to think about it more, but I knew no amount of advice would fix what I was feeling. Whether I chose to continue seeing Malfoy or to ignore him completely, there was going to be a part of me that was very unhappy with the decision.

* * *

Before I knew it, OWLs were almost over. Weeks had passed in a blur of studying and slight panic, and I had been thankful for the distraction. Malfoy and I smiled when we passed one another in the corridors, but that was all the contact we had since the day we snogged. I tried to concentrate on the only two exams we had left and not the fact that I would soon have free time to spend with Malfoy, if that's what I wanted to do. Our tentative truce was unfamiliar, but I much preferred smiles to getting hexed.

All we had left the next day was our practical Astronomy exam and our History exam the day after that. I wasn't overly concerned about either of them. I had loved the planets and stars since I was a small child, and had known almost all of the course material without any studying. History was the opposite; I knew it was a lost cause no matter what. The next night as we climbed to the Astronomy tower, I felt happier than I had in weeks. The stars were bright and the air was cool for June. The first hour of the exam went perfectly, and I had just finished when I noticed light spilling out onto the grounds. Harry and I made eye contact and he shrugged, turning back to his telescope. I checked back over my chart, making slight adjustments mostly to take up time.

Then I heard the barking of a dog, and peered out toward Hagrid's cabin. There were several people suddenly illuminated by the light from it, and minutes later there was a roar that could have only come from Hagrid himself. Harry and I looked at each other once again, disturbed. His eyes were as wide as mine felt, and he jumped when the examiner reminded us of the time. I saw Hermione jump back to her chart as well, but I continued staring at the cabin. A moment later there was an incredibly loud noise followed by a panicked scene: the people were trying to Stun Hagrid. I barely noticed Hermione cry out, or the examiner admonish her, as the fight was quickly escalating. Soon, I saw Professor McGonagall rushing across the grounds, only to be struck by multiple Stunning Spells herself when she reached the scene. She didn't get up, and I felt sick to my stomach. Hagrid began fighting in earnest, yelling at them for being cowards, before fleeing into the dark.

The exam ended, and we headed back to our common room. Everyone was awake and talking about what had happened. I kept replaying the glowing body of Professor McGonagall over and over in my mind, sickened by its similarities to my brother's. A shudder ran through me, and I felt an arm go around my shoulder. Seamus was looking at me with concern.

"Alright there, Ellie?"

I just nodded and mumbled some excuse about being worried for Hagrid. He squeezed my shoulder reassuringly, and left his arm around me. I was surprised to find I didn't mind. The last time I looked at the clock it had been around two, but soon Hermione was shaking me awake and the clock said almost four. I grinned in apology at Seamus, who I had fell asleep on, but he just smiled back and headed to his dorm. Hermione and I drifted up the stairs, not talking, but I was sure we were thinking the same thing. What the hell was happening at Hogwarts?

* * *

The next day's History examination went awfully, as I predicted. Not as much because of my own poor study habits, but because of my concern for Harry. Towards the end, he collapsed onto the floor, screaming and writhing in pain, and everyone panicked as he was escorted from the Hall. Hermione, Ron, and I looked at each other in shock, and the same idea seemed to come to each of us at the same time: Harry had just had another vision. I couldn't write any more after that, and the last few minutes stretched endlessly. The moment the examiner called time, the three of us sprinted into the corridor and began our search for Harry. Hermione spotted him coming down the stairs and called to him. He sprinted down the last few steps and dragged us into an empty classroom, confirming our suspicions.

"Voldemort's got Sirius."

We erupted with various questions, mostly why and where and how could he possibly be sure. He explained about the Department of Mysteries, and as he sat down on a desk, I could tell he was coming apart.

"How're we going to get there?"

I realized with a jolt he wanted to go after Sirius. As Hermione and Ron argued with him, I thought about my brother. If I had been given the opportunity to go after him and help him in any way I could, I would have done so. I just thinking how impressed I was that Harry was keeping his composure in this situation when he let out a yell, causing Hermione to step back. A shouting match ensued, but I just sat there, not wanting to take sides. I couldn't agree with Harry for any logical reason, only emotional ones, and that would raise questions. After a few tense minutes, the door opened and Ginny and Luna walked in.

Harry snapped at Ginny over something I hadn't heard, and she retorted something about his tone of voice. He was about to reply when Hermione cut in. "They can help! We need to get you into Umbridge's office so you can try to contact Sirius."

He looked ready to object when she cut him off. "Please be reasonable. We need to at least check."

He nodded, and planning began. I was to go with Luna and Ginny to keep people from going towards Umbridge's office while Ron distracted Umbridge herself. Hermione was going with Harry to the office. We agreed to meet back shortly, and without another word Harry sprinted to his dorm to get his Invisibility cloak. He returned minutes later, out of breath, and we all took our designated places. Luna and I went to the other end of the corridor from Ginny and told people to take a detour. It couldn't have been five minutes later when Malfoy came striding towards us. I gave Luna a nod, letting her know I'd take care of him. I walked to him, trying to head him off before he came down the hall. I greeted him with a smile, wanting to play nice.

"Malfoy. You can't go that way, someone's set off Garrotting Gas and —"

Suddenly, he raised his wand and I felt my entire body go rigid. Before I could fall to the floor, he caught me and dragged me into an alcove, propping me up behind a dragon-shaped vase. Fury and confusion swept through my body. I tried to scream before I remembered I couldn't. Luna was preoccupied trying to keep people moving and hadn't noticed a thing.

"Mousseau, listen. Not that you have much of a choice. I'm doing this to help you, believe it or not. Umbridge knows Harry is in her office, she's coming. You don't want to be caught by her right now, she isn't exactly following the rules anymore. She won't hesitate to hurt you."

Horror filled me, not for myself, but for my friends who were about to be caught. I struggled uselessly against the curse and tried to convey as much hatred as possible through just my eyes. Who the hell did he think he was keeping me out of the fight that was sure to come? And why did he think he had the right to decide what was best for me? If he knew me at all, he should have known I would want to be with my friends. He was staring at me intently, as though he knew what I was thinking. And in a motion that gave me twisted deja vu, he leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"I'm sorry."


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you to my wonderful Beta Reader, **DracoWinchester**! As always, I don't own anything that belongs to JK Rowling. Also, Happy 34th Birthday to Harry!

* * *

Malfoy walked over to Luna, whispering something as he passed her before stalking down the hall and into Umbridge's office. I had seen the toad herself waddle inside moments before and wondered what had happened to Ginny at the other end of the hall. Luna turned her protuberant eyes towards my alcove; Malfoy had apparently told her what he had done. Before she could take a step in my direction, a large Slytherin member of the Inquisitorial Squad appeared from behind her and dragged her into Umbridge's office. I saw Ron, Ginny, and to my surprise, Neville being taken inside as well. I wanted more than anything to scream in frustration. What was going to happen to them in there? How long would it be before Malfoy came back for me?

I didn't have to wait long. He came striding out of the office back over to my alcove. I wanted to close my eyes so I didn't have to look at him, but I couldn't even do that.

"I've been sent to fetch Snape, so I don't have much time. Look, you can be as angry as you want, I don't give a damn, but I'm not letting you get Crucioed over information for Potter's bloody plan."

He apparently sensed my alarm at the news that Umbridge was prepared to resort to torture to find out what Harry was up to, because he hastily finished with, "I don't think she'll actually do it, though. This'll all be over soon, and I'll come back to get you. I promise."

Hesitating for a moment, he tapped his wand on the top of my head, and I felt a peculiar sensation wash over my body. "I Disillusioned you. It would defeat the purpose if Umbridge comes out and finds you here."

And with that, he ran off towards the dungeons. I felt a burning hatred for him in that moment, and I swore I'd never forgive him. I was now immobilized and invisible, and therefore completely at his mercy. That, and it was also impossible to help my friends. I wanted to cry, but even my tear ducts were incapable of movement. Surely if they were being tortured I could hear their screams? Malfoy and Snape returned to the office, but I still heard no sounds from inside. Snape exited minutes later, and I tried with all my might to call to him. I knew that no matter what was happening to my friends in there, I was being tortured out here as well. Just as my panic was reaching an unbearable level, the door to the office burst open and Umbridge came waddling out, pointing a wand at Harry and Hermione. They walked right past my alcove towards the entrance Hall. Umbridge looked excited, Hermione determined, and Harry simply confused. What the fuck was going on?

Suddenly there was noise of a great scuffle from inside the office, and I heard yells and bangs. The door flew open yet again, but this time it was my friends that ran out. I had never been so relieved in my life as when I saw Luna running toward my alcove.

"Oh dear," she said, stopping suddenly. "She must have received help from an Umgubular Slashkilter to get out of the Binding Curse Malfoy put on her."

"Whatever happened, she's gone. We just have to hope she got loose in time to follow them to the Forest," Ginny replied, starting to jog down the corridor. "But now we have to hurry, come on."

Luna, Neville, and Ron followed her, and once again I wanted to cry. Fuck Malfoy, fuck him for making me invisible. I had just missed my one last chance to help my friends. I knew with a sinking feeling that they'd be gone to the Ministry by the time I could get to them. Whatever they were going to face there, I should have been with them. The focus of my hatred stumbled out of the office with most of the Inquisitorial Squad a few moments later. It was evident they had come out on the losing end of the dueling. Malfoy walked over to me and tapped me on the head once again, this time lifting the Disillusionment.

"If I let you move again, are you going to punch me or try to run away?"

He met my eyes for the first time since he had hit me with the Full Body-Bind. They burned with a silver fire, and I focused on them entirely as I tried to convey my hatred. He obviously read something there correctly, because he reached inside my robes to take my wand.

"I really am sorry. You should know I had to do this," he said, finally lifting the curse with a wave of his own wand. I immediately launched myself at him in an attempt to get mine back, and when I realized that was a futile effort, I settled for punching every inch of him I could reach as hard as I could.

"You stupid — fucking — bastard — what — have you — done —"

He grabbed my arms and quickly overpowered me, pushing me back up against the wall. "Don't make me curse you again, because I will," he growled, and I stopped fighting. I believed him entirely. "Now are you ready to listen to me?"

I nodded, and he released me. I glared at him, rubbing my head where it had connected with the stone. Perhaps he knew that I was only half listening, using the rest of my attention span to think of the most painful hexes possible, because he lead with something that snapped my focus entirely to him.

"I know that Potter is going to the Department of Mysteries."

I could hardly breathe. "How the fuck —?"

"How the fuck do you think? Do you know who my father is? I'm sure you do by now."

Of course I knew, and the information had been stuck in my mind since the moment I found out. Anything to do with Death Eaters was not something I easily forgot. But what did Death Eaters have to do with Harry going to save Sirius? Voldemort had been alone with him in Harry's vision.

Suddenly, I realized. I staggered back into the wall, desperate to distance myself from Malfoy.

"Trap. Merlin, it's a trap," I gasped, suddenly having trouble breathing. He eyed me warily, noticing the state I was in. My friends were walking into a trap, one with lots of Death Eaters and probably even Voldemort waiting. I had to do something.

So I ran.

I don't know what I thought I was going to do, particularly without a wand, but I was so desperate to reach the Forest and warn my friends before they left that I didn't care. I would fight Death Eaters with my bare hands given the chance anyway. If nothing else, I would be a bloody human shield for my friends and distract the Death Eaters from them, but I couldn't just stay behind knowing what was about to happen. I had barely made it to the end of the corridor when the world went sideways and I crashed to the ground with something heavy tackling me down. My already sore head connected with the stone once again, and everything went dark.

* * *

"Mousseau? Fuck, Mousseau, wake up."

Gray eyes swam above me as things slowly came into focus. I looked around me, and realized I was in a completely unfamiliar place. I was on a bed looking up at a emerald silk canopy in a room lit only by glowing green orbs. I sat up so quickly that everything spun and I felt as though my head was splitting open. Hands pushed me back down on the mattress and my surroundings gradually stopped swirling.

"Merlin, can't you just be still? I think I preferred you unconscious. Stupid bloody Gryffindor, running off after your friends without a fucking wand or any regard for your own well being, what the hell were —"

"I was perfectly fine until you tackled me to the bloody stone floor. As I recall, I was at least conscious then and didn't have the world's most massive headache —"

"You weren't _fine_ , you were about to get yourself killed over nothing —"

"MY FRIENDS AREN'T NOTHING," I bellowed, finally losing my cool entirely. "THEY'RE EVERYTHING TO ME AND NOW THEY'RE GOING TO DIE."

He just looked at me, his face unreadable. "I'm sorry," he said, still gazing at me.

"You've already said that, and somehow I still don't think that you mean it."

"Fine. You're right. I'm not sorry."

I finally met his eyes in surprise. "You're not —?"

"Not sorry. Correct. I'm not sorry that I kept you from crossing paths with an angry Umbridge, I'm not sorry that I prevented you from going happily along to your death or serious bodily harm, and I'm not sorry I knocked you unconscious, because it means you ended up in my bed."

Of course he would end with a joke, but now that I realized where I was, it seemed obvious. I glanced around the Slytherin dorm room with some degree of interest. It was a very rare thing for students to go into other Houses. Malfoy seemed to have relaxed when I was temporarily distracted, but I wasn't about to let it go that easily.

"I can't be here. I need to go to them. I can't stand not knowing, they've been gone for hours already and —"

"Can you please just lay back down before you pass out again?'

I stopped my pacing, having hopped up off the bed to examine the room. Why was he not taking me seriously? I started to become more and more irritated.

"No, I can't. Why are you acting like this isn't a big deal? You just pulled a fucking rugby move to keep me from helping my friends, and now you act like I'm a stupid child for caring about people," I seethed. "I'm starting to see why you find it so ridiculous that I would risk my life for my friends! You don't understand what it means to care about anyone, do you?"

My chest was heaving by the end of my rant, and my voice had risen to a shout. But my anger was nothing compared to the emotion that flashed through those steel gray eyes. He slowly stood up from the bed and walked in my direction. He looked positively dangerous, and I instinctively took a step back, only to find myself against a wall. He continued walking until he was inches from me, and I struggled to keep eye contact. I could almost feel the anger coming off him in waves.

"Is that what you think?" he began, his voice low and eyes fixed on me. "That I don't understand what it means to care? Why do you think I did this, Mousseau? Why do you think I've done anything I have so far. Because for some reason, unknown even to me, I care about you," he spat. I was now frozen in shock, pinned down by his stare.

No. He didn't care. Caring wasn't hexing people, making fun of them, taunting them about dead family members. Caring wasn't knocking someone unconscious to keep them from helping their friends just because you didn't want them to get hurt. Caring was helping people with what they need, being kind and friendly, and not playing games with them.

And that's exactly what I told him.

He stepped back as though I had struck him, and maybe I had. The emotion that had been raw on his face disappeared, and suddenly I was stared down by a mask of high cheekbones and cold eyes. "If that's what you truly think," he conceded, with an air of detached politeness. "Or perhaps you should consider not every person shows emotion in the way you deem proper."

With that said, he gave a slight bow and turned and walked out of the dorm. I still stood against the wall, held now by confusion. Out of nowhere, his Pureblood manners and breeding had shown themselves. It dawned on me that they must be a defense mechanism. Merlin, I had fucked up this time. I had been angry, lashing out at him for being the reason I was here and not at the Ministry. In reality, he had possibly just saved my life — and admitted to caring about me.

That was the part that got me. How could he? We had made a lifestyle out of tormenting one another. Sure, we had snogged, but that didn't mean anything, did it? No, I had assured myself, it didn't. There was also the unavoidable fact of his Death Eater ties, and my Death Eater hatred. Was this where his antagonization came from, that he cared about me and either didn't know how to show it or was too conflicted to try? My head was pounding, whether from my fall or from the situation I was now in, I wasn't sure. I somehow made it across the castle to my own bed, and fell into a restless sleep haunted by dreams of my friends being attacked by a Death Eater whose mask could not manage to hide familiar gray eyes.

* * *

I was woken up by Ginny a short while later, which sent me into an immediate state of panic. She had just been healed by Madam Pomfrey and had come to find me as soon as possible. We sprinted to the hospital wing and I nearly collapsed at the sight of my friends alive, though some in worse states than others. Ginny and Luna spent the next hour filling me in on all the events of the night, and I felt like I was in a dream. Voldemort had finally come back into the open. It was starting again. Death Eaters had been arrested, Malfoy's father among them. I somehow couldn't make myself feel sorry for him.

I told Ginny and Luna about what had happened with Malfoy, and Luna became uncharacteristically distressed when she realized I had been in the alcove the whole time. They gave opinions on Malfoy's behavior, once I filled them in on the backstory from the entire year. We settled into an exhausted silence, staring at our friends. Hermione was still unconscious as a result of some unidentified spell, but Neville and Ron were only sleeping. Harry was in Dumbledore's office. My heart constricted in sympathy at the thought of him. I understood to some degree what he was feeling, losing someone at the hands of a Death Eater. But I knew there would be guilt as well. To our surprise, he came into the hospital wing a while later. He didn't say anything, so we didn't either. We just all leaned on each other, and I knew that would be a regular thing in the days to come.

Sunday saw the release of articles in the Daily Prophet about the events in the Ministry, and we crowded together in the hospital wing once again to read them. As we discussed them and the prophecy that had been smashed, Harry stood suddenly to leave. We all watched, understanding his wanting to be alone. Ginny, Luna, Neville, and I left soon after, promising Ron and Hermione we would be back the next day.

The end of the term feast was an eclectic mix of happiness and sadness. McGonagall was back and Umbridge was gone, but now the worry of Voldemort hung over everything we did. The Slytherin table was almost deathly quiet, and we all knew it was because most of the people had been affected by the arrests made at the Ministry. Malfoy didn't look in my direction, and he hadn't since he walked out of his room. I felt a twisted sadness, as though I had lost a friend I didn't realize I had before — because that's exactly what it was.

On the train ride home, Malfoy and his two henchmen tried to ambush Harry but were cursed and jinxed and hexed by so many members of the DA that they were almost unrecognizable. I laughed along with the rest of my friends without finding any humor in the situation. I concentrated on enjoying the rest of the train ride, knowing it would be awhile before I saw my friends again. My mother and I were going back to France for the summer, so I would be gone until the start of the new term.

At the station, I said goodbye to them in a mass of hugs, kisses, and well wishes. My mother finally got to meet them all and loved them immediately. Hermione was teary eyed as she said goodbye, and it took everything in me not to cry as well. As we turned to walk outside, I saw a flash of blonde and instinctively looked closer. Malfoy was leaning against the wall, watching me. When our eyes met, he simply inclined his head before disappearing back into the crowd. That same sadness washed over me again, and I knew we had just said goodbye. I just couldn't help questioning for how long. It was inevitable we would speak again — wasn't it?


	8. Chapter 8

I'm thankful as always for my wonderful Beta, **DracoWinchester**! I do not own JK Rowling's ideas. Please enjoy!

* * *

Over two months of being in France with my mother did me a world of good. I felt more relaxed than I had in a very long time, and the only time I thought about Malfoy was when I woke up from a dream with gray eyes still burned onto the back of my eyelids. As Mum hugged me goodbye with the scarlet train whistling behind us, she started crying. I was beyond startled; I hadn't seen her cry since my brother's funeral. She wiped her eyes and said she was just being silly, giving me another hug and pushing me toward the train. I went into a compartment with Harry, Neville, and Luna and waved out of the window until she disappeared from view.

The four of us talked about our summers, and I felt a surge of happiness. I had missed them more than I believed possible. When Hermione and Ron joined us later after finishing their prefect duties, Hermione nearly knocked me off my seat with her hug. I realized with a jolt that I had always thought my mother was the only family I had left, but in reality I had several unexpected additions. My good mood lasted approximately five minutes, until Ron mentioned that Draco was just sitting in the Slytherin compartment, not doing his job. He and Harry were debating why he wasn't abusing his power, and my heart just sank lower at every word. Hermione cast me a sympathetic glance and seemed ready to interrupt them when the compartment door opened and did the job for her.

A trembling third year handed Harry, Neville, and I envelopes. They contained an invitation to have lunch with Professor Slughorn in his compartment. I was confused. Harry had said Slughorn liked to "collect" certain students, so why did he want me? I spent the walk through the train pondering this fact. Then an idea dawned on me that gave me a feeling of intense unease. Neville seemed to have no reason to be invited either, except that his parents had been in the Order. Surely Slughorn wasn't about to expose what I had spent the last year trying to hide….

I worried for nothing, however. When Slughorn introduced everyone and had them speak about themselves, he began by saying he had known my father through his job at the Ministry. I spent the rest of the time much more relaxed, though I hadn't particularly enjoyed it. A Slytherin boy, Blaise, whom I recognized as being friends with Malfoy, kept eyeing me when he thought I wasn't paying attention. It was starting to get on my nerves. The lunch ended soon enough however, and he stalked out of the compartment. Harry, Ginny, Neville, and I went out after him, Harry watching him with a peculiar expression. Before the rest of us could say anything, he said he would see us later and disappeared under his Invisibility Cloak.

The three of us shrugged and went back to our carriages, explaining to the others that Harry had disappeared. He didn't return, even once we had reached Hogwarts. We looked for him in some of the compartments on the way out, but never found him. We were all worried, but hoped he had went on without us. He wasn't in the Great Hall. Hermione, Ron, and I all sat down at the table, feeling anxious. It wasn't until the feast was almost over that he came into the Great Hall, covered in blood. Ron asked what had happened while Hermione cleaned him up, but he said he would tell us later. We talked about Slughorn and the upcoming year until Dumbledore stood to speak.

"The very best of evenings to you," he said, spreading his arms and revealing his right hand to be blackened and damaged. Hermione and I gasped, along with most of the Hall. He assured us it was fine, and continued with his speech. The next reaction from the student body came when he announced Professor Slughorn would be the new Potions master, and that Snape would be the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. At that, murmurs broke out over the Hall and Harry actually yelled "no." Dumbledore continued as though he hadn't noticed, and bid everyone goodnight. As Hermione ran forward to take care of the first years, Ron predictably stayed back with Harry and I to hear what had happened.

When Harry said Malfoy had broken his nose and left him there, I involuntarily cried out. I was thankful it seemed like a sympathetic gesture, but in reality, I was shocked. I had always known Malfoy could be cruel, but to resort to that level of violence was unlike him. I had more surprises coming, however. Harry went on to recount Malfoy boasting about receiving a mission from Voldemort, and how he believed him to have become a Death Eater. I actually tripped up the stairs at those words, but someone behind me grabbed my arm.

"Alright there, Ellie? Yeh mix in some firewhiskey with your pumpkin juice tonight?"

I turned to hug the grinning Seamus, laughing. "Of course, how else could I deal with Snape being the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor?"

He looped his arm through the one of mine he had just grabbed, now joking with Harry and Ron. I was grateful for his always optimistic presence after hearing what Harry had to say. I glanced around me as we trooped up to Gryffindor Tower, glad to be back in the castle. Something caught my eye, however, and I nearly stumbled again. Malfoy was leaning against the wall of the landing, glowering at Seamus. I anticipated the moment when he would look at me with a mixture of apprehension and excitement, but it didn't come. He merely spat out a nose joke at Harry before going back downstairs to the dungeons, ignoring me even when he walked less than a foot away from me.

"What the hell was he doing up here," Seamus asked, twisting around to watch him. I said nothing, thinking I had a pretty good idea.

* * *

The next day passed without incident, until it was time for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Harry, Ron, and I had cleared our schedules with McGonagall and were thrilled to find ours were identical. We were still discussing them when we reached Snape's door.

"Inside."

So inside we all went, glancing around at the dark room. There were drawings of people in terrible pain all over the walls, and I felt intensely uncomfortable, even more so when Snape began to speak. He talked about the Dark Arts as though they were dear to him, like he loved them more than himself. I was even more determined to find out how a man like this had any relationship with my family. The trio said Dumbledore was convinced he was good, but I didn't see how a man like this could be. He had to have known my brother because of being a Death Eater. There was no other way, and for that, I began to hate him. I glared at him steadily throughout the rest of the class, and he eventually took notice. He returned my stare with interest, and Harry watched us with some degree of concern, but said nothing. He, Ron, and I returned to the common room for our break and began working on homework. I was quieter than usual, but thankfully neither seemed to notice. This was the upside to being friends with boys.

Time passed with little progress made, and then we were heading to Potions. I stopped dead when we reached the dungeons, and Harry did the same next to me. Out of all the Slytherins to continue to NEWT level, of course Malfoy had to be one of them. He entered the dungeon without looking at me, but I instinctively knew he was aware of my presence. This class was the most interesting so far, beginning with the introduction of three amazing potions. One, Polyjuice Potion, was something I was familiar with, thanks to my brother. The second smelled incredible, like a mixture of sea air and something rich and musky that I couldn't place, and at Professor Slughorn's announcement that it was a love potion, Malfoy and a boy named Nott laughed, causing my stomach to churn. The third was to be the prize for the day's competition ― Felix Felicis.

Harry's potion came out best, much to everyone's surprise. I wasn't surprised at my own dismal progress, however, as I had been watching Malfoy for most of the class. He had worked earnestly throughout, making me wonder why he needed luck so badly. I shoved down the foolish part of myself that hoped it had to do with me. As he stalked past me to leave the dungeon, I looked around to see if Professor Slughorn had opened the Amortentia again, because I could detect that unidentifiable scent. Suddenly, I was hit with a flood of memories of being pressed against walls and looked down at by silvery eyes. Fuck. Malfoy was in my love potion.

* * *

I spent the next week in a bit of a foul temper after that realization. My trio of friends was too preoccupied with their own issues to notice, and I was thankful. Harry had Quidditch tryouts coming up, and as Captain, he was feeling the pressure to make a good team. So that next Saturday, Hermione and I went down to the pitch to support Harry and Ron, who was trying out. Hermione was still miffed that Harry had kept his mysterious Half Blood Prince Potions book and that Lavender Brown had flirted with Ron, so we were both quiet as we watched.

When the Keepers finally lined up, Ron was a pale green color, and Hermione seemed almost as nervous as he did. Some wanker named McLaggen, who seemed to have the temperament and team building skills of a troll, was doing surprisingly well, making things seem dismal for Ron. McLaggen lined up for his last save, and from beside me ―

" _Confundo_."

I turned to Hermione in shock, and she turned bright red but had a determined look on her face. I burst out laughing and threw my arms around her, and we clung together as Ron flew up to the goals. Without further assistance from Hermione, he made all five goals and we ran down to the newly formed team in time to see McLaggen storming away. We congratulated Ron and headed towards Hagrid's with him and Harry. I had grown to like Hagrid very much over the past year, and he had been thrilled to have another person come visit him regularly. Now we headed towards his cabin with some degree of trepidation. He wasn't happy with us for dropping his class. The next couple hours were spent first with us trying to make amends, then with him mourning over Aragog, a giant spider, dying. We found it hard to express much sympathy for that. As we headed back up to the castle excited for dinner, we saw McLaggen run into the door of the Great Hall. Ron burst out laughing and walked ahead into the Hall, but Harry stopped Hermione and I.

"If you ask me, McLaggen looks like he was Confunded this morning. And he was standing right in front of where you two were sitting."

I tried to hide my fit of giggles while Hermione turned red once again. She sputtered out a defense until Ron came back out to see where we had gone. Before we could make it inside, Professor Slughorn stepped in front of us, exclaiming "Harry, Harry, just the man I was hoping to see!"

He went on to invite him to dinner, listing a few other "rising stars" that would be there, and saying he hoped Hermione and I would accompany him as well. He pretended Ron didn't exist throughout the entire exchange, and bid us goodnight. Ron remained in a bad mood for the rest of the evening, even snapping at Harry at one point. Hermione had read an article saying that Ron's father had lead a search of the Malfoy Manor, but had found nothing. The mention of Malfoy made my heart plummet, and even more so when Harry began musing on how Malfoy could have gotten the supposed item he had into Hogwarts. Ron eventually told him to drop it, rather waspishly, causing Harry to retort something about Slughorn's parties. Ron then stomped up to his dorm in a fit of temper, leaving the three of us to stare after him, all lost in our own thoughts.

* * *

The only thing to look forward to over the next month was the Hogsmeade visit. But even that ended up being miserable, as the day of the trip was freezing cold and windy. The four of us made our way to the village wrapped in as many layers as possible. Ron pointed toward Honeydukes. We all piled inside, only to wish we hadn't when we spotted Professor Slughorn coming our way. Hermione and I had started to dislike those suppers. They had been bearable at first, but now between McLaggen flirting with Hermione and Blaise watching me, we were both uncomfortable. Slughorn, having finished harassing Harry for the day, waved goodbye, and we decided to head to the Three Broomsticks. This was not a much better experience, and as soon as we finished our drinks, we agreed to head back to the castle.

Ahead of us, Katie Bell and a girl I knew only as Leanne were fighting, Katie saying that something had nothing to do with her. She snatched a package back out of Leanne's hands and immediately rose into the air. Hermione and I gasped and grabbed each other, and I noticed she had a hold on Ron as well. Suddenly, Katie screamed awfully and came crashing to the ground, barely giving Harry and Ron enough time to catch her. Harry ran off to get help, returning soon after with Hagrid who carried Katie to the school. Harry stooped to pick up the package with a scarf, revealing a necklace inside. As we walked with a crying Leanne back to the castle, I heard Harry talking to Ron.

"Malfoy knows about this necklace. It was in a case at Borgin and Burkes four years ago, I saw him having a good look at it while I was hiding from him and his dad. This is what he was buying that day when we followed him! He remembered it and he went back for it!"

Ron expressed reservations about this idea, and I was glad. There was no way Malfoy was a Death Eater. I just felt it somewhere deep inside me. Harry just had to be wrong, I kept telling myself, as though the more I said it the more true it would be. We met with McGonagall back at the castle and gave her a brief explanation of what had happened. I sensed Harry about to say something next to me, and just knew he was about to accuse Malfoy. I couldn't stand to hear any more about him in one day.

"Professor, I can go with Leanne to the hospital wing."

She nodded her assent, and Leanne smiled gratefully. As we walked out of the room, I made sure the door shut immediately behind us, unwilling to hear a single word. I was being ridiculous, I knew, but it had been almost five months without speaking to Malfoy, and I was beginning to be ridiculous in many ways.

For instance, the following Tuesday in Herbology, the topic of the Slug Club Christmas party came up. In their typical fashion, Hermione invited Ron as her date after they got in a bit of a row. Harry and I grinned at each other knowingly. The two of them were clearly attracted to each other, and everyone seemed to know it but them. I found myself thinking about Malfoy during the discussion, more specifically about asking him to be my date. The moment the thought crossed my mind, I could tell that I had turned pink ― ridiculous. Hermione had caught my eye and there we were, two teenage girls blushing over boys. From an outsider's perspective, it seemed almost normal. I wished more than anything that it could be.

I was distracted slightly by Seamus in the coming weeks, however. He was cute, and I could tell he had feelings for me. What I couldn't tell was how I felt about him. I thought back to the night of OWLs so long ago when I had fallen asleep on him and how natural that had felt. From the first night I met him, he had been a constant source of happiness and made an effort to make sure I was okay. In the days following the Quidditch tryouts, he had been distant, and I knew it was out of disappointment. So when he overheard Harry asking Dean to replace Katie as a Chaser, he slammed his books into his bag and stalked out of the room. I felt sad for him, and wondered what I could do to help.

I was struck by sudden inspiration. I had been obsessing since the day in Herbology over how I wished things could be normal, and now here I was looking for a way to cheer Seamus up. I jogged out into the corridor after him, calling his name. He wheeled around with a sour expression on his face that brightened when he saw it was me.

"Sup, Ellie?"

I took a breath and pushed away any lingering hopes of being with Malfoy. "Hi, Seamus. Would you like to go to Slughorn's Christmas party with me? I mean if you already have plans, or don't want to, it's fine, I understand. I just ―"

Interrupting my awkward stammering, he grabbed me in a hug that lifted me off my feet and spun me around. "Course I'd like to go with you!"

I beamed at him, relieved that he had agreed so readily.

"How precious. What happens if two half-bloods shack up? Do you finally get a Pureblood or do things just get even….muddier?"

I would recognize that drawling voice anywhere. I spun around, but Seamus was quicker. He had his wand out and leveled at Malfoy's chest within seconds. His eyes were arctic gray and boring into me for the first time in months. I put my hand on Seamus's chest, pushing him back, and Malfoy's mouth twitched in contempt. "Seamus. Don't. He's not worth it."

He looked down at me and reluctantly lowered his wand. Malfoy let out a barking laugh. "I'm not worth it? Seems like I've heard that somewhere before."

Before I could say anything, he turned and disappeared down the corridor. Anger boiled in the pit of my stomach. I had never fucking said he wasn't worth it. So that's how the git remembered things happening?

"Seamus, I'll see you later."

And with that, I ran down the hall after Malfoy.


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry for such a long hiatus! But a very special thank you to my Beta, **DracoWinchester** for agreeing to continue helping me after all this time. As always, I own none of JK Rowling's ideas or work, and please read and review!

* * *

"Malfoy!" I yelled, causing several heads to turn in my direction. He hesitated for a moment before continuing to walk away, never turning around. "MALFOY." Now half the corridor was staring at me, but I hardly noticed. Malfoy was still making his way down the hall. "OI, FUCKER."

He stopped this time. And so did everyone around me. It seemed like the corridor was holding a collective breath as he slowly wheeled around to face me. His eyes were the steel gray that I had come to associate with his anger. He walked down the still hallway before coming to stop directly in front of me. He pointed to an empty classroom.

"Go."

I stared him down, flicking my hair off my shoulder. I had come after him, so he wasn't about to boss me around.

Raising my chin, I said "since when do you tell me what to do? I don't think so." I was fully prepared to stand my ground and have our confrontation in front of half the school. He had other ideas, however, and before I could react had swooped down and thrown me over his shoulder, Levitating my fallen books into the classroom ahead of us. I pounded my fists on his lower back as we went inside to the sound of a wolf whistle. Without breaking stride, he lifted his wand over his shoulder and cast a jinx that was met with a yelp of pain.

After dropping me unceremoniously on a desk, he strode back to the doorway. "Anyone thinking it will be a good idea to try to eavesdrop, I can assure you it won't be." He slammed the door and I heard the crowd start moving again, muttering to themselves.

Now in a confined space with him and alone for the first time since his bedroom, I regretted my decision to come after him. I soon remembered his comments to Seamus and I, however, as well as his behavior towards me ever since our fight last June, and I regained the anger I had come after him with. He opened his mouth but I cut him off.

"I need to know what the fuck your problem is. Those comments to Seamus and I were completely uncalled for, especially since you've made it clear for the past several months that you want nothing to do with me."

His eyebrows rose contemptuously. "My problem? I don't have one. I was simply asking a rhetorical question that you happened to take offense to." He was still maintaining that cold mask, and it hurt when I could still remember so clearly what his smile looked like.

My heart panged at the thought of it, and my anger ebbed some. There had to be something wrong for him to be acting like this, and me yelling at him wasn't going to help me figure it out. I decided to try a different approach and hopped off the desk, walking towards him until we were hardly a foot away.

"Let me in. Don't keep pushing me away like you've done since that night."

"No."

I had not been expecting that simple of a response. My insides clenched. "Malfoy, I'm sorry. The things I said that night, I didn't mean them that way. I was upset and not ready to believe that you actually cared about me. Things can be different."

"Things are different. As you said, I cared about you then."

Tears rose to my eyes before I could control my emotions. I wasn't willing to give up. "Stop being this way. I know you still care. Why were you on the way to Gryffindor Tower after the feast? Why are you so hateful to Seamus? Because you care. And I care too."

"You're wrong," he said simply. "I was planning on hexing Potter since he somehow found his way back to the school. I antagonize Finnegan because he's half blood filth and his obsession with you only gives me an easier target. You don't care, you're only playing a game, the same as me. You just aren't willing to admit it."

The tears were falling now and I couldn't stop them. His mask flickered slightly before smoothing back over, and I latched onto his momentary weakness. "You do care. You do, I know it. You were waiting to see me after the feast. You hate Seamus because you think I have feelings for him, but I don't."

Again, at my last words, his face shifted. "You should have feelings for him. He would be good for you," he said, turning away from me suddenly.

"What are you, my mother? What are you on about?"

He strode over to the window and leaned on the sill, looking outside. "You need someone who's good for you," he repeated.

I had stopped crying more out of sheer confusion than anything. I stared at his back for a moment before walking over and yanking on his arm so that he had to look at me. "Why aren't you good for me?"

He ran his hands through his hair, the mask breaking again but this time staying off. "I'm just not, Merlin. You don't want to know, so don't fucking go there."

Countless conversations with Harry about him being a Death Eater flashed through my mind, but I refused to acknowledge them. They weren't true, they couldn't be. I had just admitted to caring about this boy, when I hadn't realized how much until I said it.

Need washed over me, and I closed the distance between us again.

"What if I don't care?"

He looked at me warily, but I pulled him down to my lips before he had a chance to say anything. He reacted almost instinctively, grabbing my waist and melding me to him. My hands ran through his hair, mirroring his earlier movements, and he let out a low moan in response.

This is what I had missed, the way we seemed to communicate better without words. I thought distractedly that this wasn't the healthy way to communicate, but I didn't care. This was different than our first snog. Malfoy was more urgent, our mouths hardly separating long enough for me to breathe. I could feel the outlines of his muscles even through our robes and pressed myself tighter against him in response.

Suddenly, his hands that had been wrapped around my waist pushed me away, hard enough that I stumbled into the desk behind me. I looked at him, wounded, and was concerned by the look on his face. The mask was back on, but his eyes were still wild.

"Fuck, Mousseau, you don't know what you're doing. You have to stay away." He was breathing heavily as walked over to the door, almost jogging, as though he was desperate to put more distance between us. "Go snog Finnegan next time, he's harder pressed to find willing participants than I am."

I stared at the door for minutes after he had left. That was not the way I envisioned that going. I collected my books and started the long walk to Gryffindor Tower, hoping the tears would stop before I reached the common room.

"Ellie!" Seamus had come around the corner and was evidently startled to find me crying. He sprinted down the rest of the hall and grabbed my face in his hands, turning me from side to side as though checking for bruises. "Are you alright? Did that bastard touch you? I knew I shouldn't have let you go after him, I'm sorry."

Hysterical laughter bubbled out of me when he asked if Draco had touched me, but this only made him more concerned.

"Ellie, come on, let's get you back to the dorm, eh?" I only nodded and let him led me back to the Tower.

* * *

None of us were in good moods for the rest of the week. Ron was as touchy as the average skrewt, lashing out at everyone. He had reduced Hermione to tears several times, especially since she didn't understand why things between them had changed. Harry was beyond stressed that his first Quidditch match as Captain was just days off. I was of course still thinking about Malfoy, wondering why he was pushing me away.

The morning of the Quidditch match against Slytherin, the school was bursting with energy and excitement. Hermione and I joined Luna in the stands, laughing at her famous lion hat. I was nervous about seeing Malfoy, even from a distance, but I didn't have to be ― as the teams lined up, he was nowhere to be seen. I asked Hermione if she knew what was happening, but she had been preoccupied ever since Harry had apparently put something in Ron's drink at breakfast.

I had filled her in on the events of the other day, and she had simply hugged me. We were in surprisingly similar situations, and it felt nice to have someone that understood. The game ended with Harry grabbing the Snitch from Harper, and the entire audience roared. It was always a good thing when someone beat Slytherin. Hermione and I made our way to the changing rooms to congratulate Harry and Ron, and I could tell she was preparing herself to say something.

Sure enough, she accused Harry of putting Felix Felicis into Ron's drink. This started a huge row between her and Ron, who, once it became clear Harry hadn't, became furious that Hermione had doubted his abilities. He stormed out of the room, leaving Harry and I to try and comfort her. Instead, she stormed out of the room too, but when I tried to go after her, Harry stopped me.

"Just let her go for now, Ellie. We can go up to the party."

I nodded, and we walked arm in arm back up to the castle, entering the common room to find the party in full swing. Seamus extracted me from Harry, pulling me into the middle of the room to dance, and the last time I saw him he was going out the portrait hole after an upset Hermione who had undoubtedly seen Ron and Lavender with their tongues down each other's throat.

I ignored my conscious that said I should go after her too and stayed with Seamus instead. We danced with Dean and Ginny for hours, and the party raged all night. I hadn't had that much fun in months, and it only made me look forward to Slughorn's party more. Seamus was a good friend and great guy, and I kept hearing Malfoy's words about him. I watched him joking with Dean, and couldn't help but grin. He didn't have the smoldering beauty that Malfoy did, but his freckles and sandy hair made him someone I just wanted to hold on to.

Dean and Ginny disappeared somewhere around midnight, and Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Lavender were still wandering the castle. I hoped they wouldn't be caught out after curfew. Seamus and I stayed up until two just talking and laughing, and at some point I fell asleep on him again. We were woken up a bit later by a grinning Harry who had finally returned.

As he and Seamus bid me goodnight and went up to their dorm, he warned me that Hermione was very upset. She was very upset, and she stayed that way for weeks. She wasn't talking to Ron at all, which meant that Harry and I now had to choose sides. By some unspoken agreement, I stayed with Hermione while he went with Ron, and we would switch around every few days. I eventually agreed to help her get back at Ron.

After all, I couldn't judge, as I had started to question whether my own increased involvement with Seamus had anything to do with Malfoy. The day of the party, as we sat down to eat, she began a prearranged conversation with Parvati about her taking Cormac McLaggen to the party. I had convinced her to ask him the night before, and she had done so reluctantly. Now, however, she seemed to have no qualms about it.

She and I said goodbye to the others and went upstairs to get ready. We met Seamus and McLaggen in the common room at eight and walked to the party together. The moment we entered Slughorn's study, Hermione and I gasped. The room was decorated beautifully, looking like the inside of a huge tent. The four of us went off to dance, but McLaggen kept getting far too close to Hermione. Seamus and I had to stifle our laughter at her discomfort.

Eventually they disappeared into the crowd, and Seamus and I mingled with the other party goers.

Dean came running up to us with Ginny in tow. "Oi, you lot up for a party tonight," he asked with a grin. I looked at Ginny questioningly and her eyes shone with mischief. "I reckon I found a seventh year who can get us some firewhiskey. So what do you say, meet in the common room at midnight?"

Seamus looked at me and half shrugged, as though it were up to me. I considered it. It was the last night of term, I could sleep off any hangover on the train home the next day. Besides, it seemed as though I had been looking for an opportunity to forget myself and everything around me, and here one was.

"Hell yeah, we'll be there." Dean gave me a thumbs up as he and Ginny walked off to tell the others.

Seamus and I went to find Harry to tell him, and we had just walked up to the group he was standing in when someone unexpected showed up. Malfoy was being dragged across the room by Filch. My heart constricted, and I barely heard the exchange that followed.

"All right, I wasn't invited! I was trying to gatecrash, happy?"

I snapped back to attention at the sound of his voice. He had drawn himself up to his full height and looked furious. I knew immediately he was lying. He hadn't been trying to come here, I had heard him making fun of the party for weeks now. So what had he been doing?

This was the first time I had seen him up close in over a month, and he looked terribly exhausted. His eyes that were normally so bright had dulled to an ashy gray that worried me. What was wrong with him? Moments later, he and Snape disappeared from the party, and I tried to push him from my mind. I had an afterparty to look forward to.

* * *

The next few hours passed in a blur of firewhiskey and laughter. I had never drank this much in my life, and the room was starting to spin. I already felt a bit queasy, so I went to sit down in a far corner of the room and nearly stumbled to the ground. I pressed my palm to my forehead. Merlin, why had I done this?

"First time, eh?" Seamus had come over to join me and seemed hardly affected by the alcohol, although I knew he had drank almost twice as much as I had. I nodded and immediately wished I hadn't as the pounding in my head only got worse.

"Yeah. I just need everything to stop moving though and it'll be okay."

He chuckled and sat down next to me. He was very close, and I could smell firewhiskey on his breath, which only made me feel more nauseous. I tried to scoot away, but he put an arm around me, holding me to his side. I could feel him looking down at me and tried to ignore him. I had a feeling he was going to start talking about his feelings, and I couldn't handle that after as many drinks as I'd had. Instead, he lifted my chin up to him with his other hand.

"Ellie," he breathed, and I tried to twist away.

This was worse than talking about feelings. He leaned down and his lips met mine in a crashing, desperate way. I pushed him back and stood up far too quickly and had to grab the wall for support.

"Seamus, I ―" Before I could get the next words out, he had stood up as well, his body now blocking my view of the rest of the room.

"It's okay, love, I understand." I felt relieved that he knew I only thought of him as a friend. That had become perfectly clear the moment he kissed me. But then he continued, "I understand if this is too public. But it's alright, everyone else is sloshed too."

Without giving me a chance to respond, he pressed himself to me once again. His hand was creeping towards the hem of my dress, pushing it up and running his hand along my thigh. I felt the bile rising in my stomach and twisted my hands in his hair, trying to pull him off. He apparently thought this was a move of passion, however, and reciprocated, his free hand lodging in my curls while his other continued making its way up my leg.

My alcohol muddled brain began panicking, and I did the only thing I could think of ― I bit his lip, hard, hard enough that I could taste his blood. He jumped back and swore, and I took that opportunity to run. I sprinted across the common room, kicking my heels off as I went. People called after me in concern, but I didn't stop. I could hear him running after me, calling my name, and I let out a dry sob. What the hell was happening? My inebriation finally became too much and I tripped, sprawling out on the ground. I felt a pain shoot up my leg and I cried out. Hands pulled me up and my leg collapsed under me, and I still screamed and tried to fight Seamus off.

But it wasn't him.

A drawling voice spoke instead of one with an Irish accent. "Bloody hell, Mousseau, calm down or we'll be caught. Merlin, what happened to you?"

I tried to answer his question but my words came out slurred and weak.

Malfoy's eyes narrowed and flashed. "Are you fucking plastered right now?" I mumbled out an answer and he swore before picking me up off the ground. He held me cradled to his chest and the world continued spinning as he walked with me, carrying me as though I weighed nothing.

"Why is there blood on your face? Where are your shoes?" I ignored both of those questions and tried to ask where he was taking me, but all that came out was a jumbled

"Whur we goin'?"

He just swore again and continued walking. "Somewhere safe."

* * *

Thank you for reading! Please review :)


	10. Chapter 10

A thank you once again to my wonderful Beta, **DracoWinchester**! Hope you enjoy.

* * *

I carried Eleanor into the Room of Requirement. It looked a hell of a lot different than it usually did when I was in here. The cathedral sized room piled with mountains of junk had been replaced by a small room with a bed and some aspirin already sitting on the nightstand. I saw an empty glass as well and knew it was for me to fill with the water she'd undoubtedly need. Her head rolled to the side and she caught sight of the bed. Her eyes widened and she immediately started thrashing in my arms, almost causing me to drop her.

"NO PUT ME DOWN DON'T TOUCH ME STOP ―"

I placed her gently on the bed and stepped back, giving her space. I tried to control the anger that washed through me. What the fuck had Finnegan done to her? She had flopped back on the bed, an arm flung over her face. I could see pink beginning to spread across her cheeks and knew she was embarrassed, even through her drunkenness. I wanted to comfort her, but I didn't want to scare her again.

I settled for handing her the aspirin and whispered " _aguamenti_ " before handing her the now full glass. She took them both and downed the water, so I refilled it for her again. It was clear she had never been drunk before. What in Merlin's name had she been doing?

She leaned back against the headboard, eyes closed, and I let myself look at her like I hadn't done in so long. Chestnut curls had come loose from the bun she had twisted them in, framing a perfectly heart shaped face. Her cheeks were slightly pinker than normal from blushing and now matched her lips.

I let myself focus on those for a few moments longer, remembering how they felt on my skin. My trousers tightened slightly, and I made myself instead look at the blood that was on her chin. That effectively made me angry instead of aroused. I pointed my wand at her, saying "tergeo" and making the blood disappear. That was better. Dark eyelashes fanned out across her cheek, and I could see dark circles below them.

Why hadn't she been sleeping? Her eyelids fluttered briefly, showing crystal blue eyes that were slightly bloodshot from the alcohol. I noticed now that her flowy dress matched the blue almost exactly. Had she done that on purpose?

I thought of the brief moment I had seen her at the party tonight. She had been laughing, face glowing and making her dimples pop. The dress had made her look otherworldly as it rippled with every movement she made. Even with the heels she had been wearing, she was still tiny, shorter than even Finnegan and much shorter than me. I frowned at her bare feet. Where had her shoes gone? I shook my head, slightly angry that I had just spent the past five minutes thinking like a lovesick wanker. Eleanor was bloody sexy, and every bloke in the school thought so ― but of course she was oblivious. Maybe that was part of the reason I wanted her so badly. Seeing her spread out on the bed in front of me made my thoughts go in a distracting direction, but I pushed them away. It was my father who preferred his women unconscious. I was just beginning to think she had fallen asleep and was preparing to leave when she sat up. "Malfoy?"

I turned.

"Will you...will you stay with me?"

Her voice was quiet and still slurred, and I knew I couldn't say no. Fuck. I cautiously sat on the end of the bed, making sure I didn't touch her. I had seen enough drunk people to know that once they had a fear or worry in their mind, it was hard to get rid of. Hell, I had been drunk enough to know that. And, as her next question showed, I knew it was almost impossible to not be honest.

"Why do you hate me?"

My stomach sunk as those blue eyes found me and pinned me down. Shit. I couldn't have this conversation with her. The day we had snogged in that empty classroom after fighting seemed so long ago. I had been cruel that day, hoping she would just go away and save herself. I unconsciously flexed my left arm, knowing that all I had to do was show her the Mark there and she would never speak to me again. But I was fucking selfish and couldn't do it. I didn't want her to hate me, but she would. I knew what the Death Eaters had taken from her, I had known forever. I knew more about her family than she would guess, and that was dangerous. She would hate me.

She was watching me steadily, waiting on my answer. I sighed, running a hand through my hair. She wasn't going to give up on this easily. "Why do you have blood on you?"

She dropped her gaze immediately and started fiddling with the hem of her dress. A smirk broke over my face before I could help it. We were both too curious and too bloody stubborn for our own good. An idea suddenly came to me, and I considered it carefully. Surely she wouldn't remember this conversation later. She was more drunk than I had seen someone in a long time. I would remember it, though, so I had the perfect opportunity to get answers without really giving any.

"Alright, Mousseau, here's the deal. You answer one, I answer one."

She looked up at the mischievous tone in my voice. My stomach swooped when she smirked back, and I felt oddly pleased that I was rubbing off on her. Distractedly, I wondered why I still called her by her surname. Probably because she called me by mine. I made a mental note for one of my questions to be why she did that.

"So answer me. Why do you hate me?"

I should have seen that coming again. "I don't. I just don't think you should be around me."

She opened her mouth to speak again, but I cut her off. "My turn. What happened with Finnegan tonight?"

"We got drunk along with most of Gryffindor. He made a move, I pushed him off, he didn't get the message."

Her words made it seem like not a big deal, but I could tell by the way she refused to look at me and the way her voice shook that she was upset by it. She looked at me, trying to focus through her haze of drunkenness. "Why shouldn't I be around you?"

I had been distracted by thinking of ways to cause Finnegan pain and had to stop to choose my words carefully. "I'm not a good person, Mousseau. I haven't been in awhile. You're a wonderful person, and you don't need to be infected by me."

She blinked at my words, and I asked my next question before she could think about them too deeply. "I know you're more upset about Finnegan than you're letting on. What happened that made you have blood on you and no shoes?"

Her eyebrows drew together and she eyed me suspiciously. Even while drunk she knew I was asking my questions in a way that fit several into one. I smirked at her. This is why you don't play games with a Slytherin. She took a shaky breath, and I felt momentarily guilty for making her talk about it. But I needed some sort of ammunition for when I hexed Finnegan into oblivion.

"He kissed me, which is when I pushed him off. But then we were up against the wall, and his hand was under my dress, so I bit his lip as hard as I could. It was his blood," she said, and pride washed through me.

Good girl, I thought.

"He jumped back after that, so I ran out of the common room. I took off my heels so I could run faster. I could hear him following me. I don't know if it was to apologize or to..." she trailed off.

I put my hand on her leg without thinking, but she didn't flinch. She just looked at me, ice blue meeting my gray.

"What makes you not a good person?"

Fuck. We stared at each other in silence while I tried to figure out what to say. "I'm making bad decisions. I don't want to make them, but I don't have a choice. It's life or death. Do you really care about Finnegan?"

She was still trying to make her hazed brain process my answer, I knew, but she answered immediately. "Yes, I do."

I tried not to show my disappointment, arranging my face into the position that I had learned from a young age made people falter. She didn't, however, and continued. "But only as a friend. I've always known he's had feelings for me, so maybe it wasn't fair of me to stay close to him. I needed someone, though, and you weren't around."

She blushed as she finished, and I knew she hadn't meant to say the last part. I felt inexplicably guilty. If I hadn't been pushing her away, would she be drunk and afraid right now? Would she have been harassed by someone she considered a friend?

"Do you care about me?"

That was the question I had dreaded her asking. Refusing to look at her, I said yes.

"Do you want to be with me?"

I didn't even notice that she had skipped me asking a question. My heart was pounding. I wasn't used to having touchy feely moments like this. "Yes, I do."

Her entire face lit up at that, and I hated myself. More than I hated myself for my repeated failures on the Dark Lord's mission, more than I hated myself for putting my family at risk. Those things weren't my fault. This was. I was being selfish, so fucking selfish that I was hurting myself because I knew I would end up hurting her too.

But then her expression changed. "That doesn't matter though, does it? You're going to push me away again."

Tears welled up in her eyes, and I hated myself again and again. I crawled up next to her and put my arms around her, pulling her to my chest. "I'm sorry," I whispered. I was so fucking pathetic. That's all I could say. I couldn't offer her any comfort because I knew she was right. We both knew. I heard her breathing slow and could tell she was tired. I was surprised she was even awake after all this time. Just as I thought she had fallen asleep, she stirred. "One more question."

I waited.

"What's your first name?"

A grin broke over my face. "Draco, love. Now go to sleep."

She snuggled into my side and something inside me burned and swelled. This girl was going to be the death of me. "Goodnight, Draco."

I kissed the top of her head, feeling oddly sad as though she had said goodbye instead of goodnight. "'Night, Eleanor."

I didn't sleep. I just watched her and wondered what good thing I had done to allow me to have this chance to be with her, even if it was just for one night. I wondered what time it was, so a clock appeared on the wall and said five in the morning. I slowly detached myself from her side, wishing I could stay. The train would be coming in a few hours and everyone would be waking up even sooner. It wouldn't do to be seen walking out of here. I already would need a good excuse for Crabbe and Goyle why I hadn't returned to the dorm. I decided I would just tell them part of the truth: I had been in here.

But I would tell them I was working on the Dark Lord's mission, because that always frightened them enough that they stopped questioning me.

I slipped out of the door, taking one last look at Eleanor. She was now curled into a ball instead of curled around me as she had been. Walking down the corridor, I called a house elf and instructed them to make sure she woke up in time for breakfast. I knew the Room would take care of anything else she needed. I entered the nearly empty Great Hall and sat down at the Slytherin table alone. I thought about the previous night and knew I was in trouble. Eleanor may not remember it, but I would never forget. It had been the first time I slept with a girl and didn't shag, the first time I had expressed my feelings for a girl and meant it, and the first time I wished to Merlin that I could be with someone in such a pure way. I took a long drink of coffee and went back downstairs to pack. I didn't know how I could return to my Manor and not see her for weeks.

I knew with a sinking feeling that it would only be preparation for the months to come. I had to protect Eleanor, and that meant I could never speak to her again.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

The ride home on the train the next day should have been miserable with my hangover, but between Hermione's spellwork and my slowly returning memories of the early morning hours, I was in the best mood imaginable. If I hadn't known better, I would have wondered if Harry had put some of his Felix Felicis in my drink that morning at breakfast. I leaned back in my seat, remembering my conversation with Draco. _Draco_ , I thought. _How fitting_. He cared about me and wanted to be with me, and that's all that mattered. So what if he didn't think he was good for me, or was convinced that he was making dangerous decisions? We could work through that together. That was the point of having a relationship, wasn't it? I looked for him briefly on the train, but I didn't want to make Harry or Ron suspicious. I had explained everything that morning to a frantic Hermione who had panicked when I didn't return to the dorm all night.

"MERLIN'S PANTS," she had screamed, hugging me tightly. "At least one of our boys has his head on straight!"

I had thought of Ron and Lavender's increased promiscuity and been annoyed. If only Ron would stop being a wanker and realize how happy he could be with Hermione. Now I was watching them argue as the Hogwarts Express rocketed along, and I selfishly felt relieved things had finally worked out with Draco. I looked for him in the crowd as we got our trunks off the train, but he was nowhere to be seen. A surge of disappointment washed over me. Didn't he even want to say goodbye?

By the time Mum and I had gotten home, I was in a foul mood. After everything that had happened, how could he not have talked to me? A realization hit me, however, brightening my mood immediately. Of course he hadn't come to find me, he probably didn't even know I remembered. I felt guilty for becoming angry. And how would he have explained things in front of Harry, Ron, Seamus, Neville, and Luna? That wouldn't have gone over well at all. No, I was sure he was feeling the same as I had been, upset that I hadn't acknowledged him. I considered sending him an owl but didn't want to reveal I remembered in such an impersonal way. For once, I could hardly wait for the break to be over so I could get back to school and see his happiness in person.

* * *

New Year's came and went, and then it was the start of the new term. I met up with Harry and Hermione in the common room, as Ron had already become glued to Lavender. I was dying to go find Draco, but Harry said he needed to tell us something important. He went on to recount an exchange between Draco and Snape that he had overheard during Slughorn's party. Harry was convinced Draco was acting on Voldemort's orders, and Hermione was arguing the point ― mostly for my sake, I felt, as she kept casting nervous glances in my direction. I wasn't concerned. Draco couldn't be working for Voldemort, couldn't be a Death Eater. He may be mean and nasty and cruel at times, but he wouldn't move to full on evil.

However, when Harry brought up the fact that he knew Fenrir Greyback, I blanched. That fucker was directly responsible for everything that happened to my brother, how could Draco be involved with him unless he _was_ a Death Eater? I shook those thoughts from my mind, refusing to believe them. He surely would have told me that night in the Room of Requirement, especially if he thought I wouldn't remember. By the time we had finished discussing Scrimgeour and his visit with Harry, it was too late to go find Draco. I was disappointed, but still excited for the next morning. I fell asleep thinking of the look on his face when he realized I wanted to be with him too, and I let myself have happy-little-girl-love-story dreams.

The next morning, I practically ran down to breakfast, dragging a laughing Hermione behind me. "When are you going to tell Harry and Ron about this?" she asked. I was momentarily stymied. "I guess I'll wait a bit to make sure the relationship even lasts. It needs to be worth getting them worked up over, because you know they're going to think I'm a nutter."

She couldn't object, because we both knew they were going to be angry with me. Their rivalry and hatred for Draco was six years strong, and that wasn't something they were going to get over. I was actually surprised that Hermione wasn't upset, seeing as he constantly referred to her as a Mudblood. I supposed she understood what it was like to have feelings for someone that made things difficult. In any case, once Draco and I were together, I would see to it that he left her alone. Harry and Ron were big lads, they could take care of themselves.

As we came down the stairs into the Great Hall, I saw Draco coming up from the dungeons. Hermione squeezed my hand as I followed him into the Hall. Butterflies swarmed in my stomach, and I scolded myself for feeling nervous. Of course things had changed that night, but they had changed for the better. I walked up to him, smiling, but the moment he met my eye he turned away. I stopped in my tracks. What the hell? He was standing still with his back turned towards me, and I could see his shoulders were tensed. No one had noticed the two of us frozen in place yet. I slowly walked around him until I stood in front of him. He raised his eyes to meet mine, and I was startled to find they were cold and distant.

"Excuse me, Mousseau, you're blocking my way."

I blinked. Was he joking with me? "What ―?"

"Was I not clear enough? Move."

I narrowed my eyes. I knew he didn't know I remembered, but that was no excuse to be so rude. I had planned on informing him gently, as I knew he would be embarrassed that I remembered his candidness. I changed my mind in the face of his attitude, however. "Look, I remember. I remember everything. So just stop being like this, it's okay now."

I started to reach for his hand, but the look on his face stopped me. Horror was creeping over his features. "No, you don't. You were incredibly drunk, anything you think you remember is your mind playing tricks on you…."

He trailed off, looking trapped. Why was he acting this was? He had admitted to wanting to be with me, why couldn't he see that I was trying to tell him I wanted it too?

"I do remember. I know that you said you cared, that you wanted to be with me ―"

"You're wrong," he hissed, stepping closer. By now several people were watching us closely. "You don't remember, you just think you do."

"If you would just _listen_ you'd hear that I do ―"

"Would you DROP IT," he snapped, finally coming unglued and raising his voice, thereby attracting the attention of most the Great Hall. I could see Harry and Ron rising from their seats in concern, and Hermione trying to pull them back down. "No, I won't," I said, keeping my voice low. "I'm not going to let you ruin what you started the other night. I've spent the past weeks thinking about us, and we can do this, I know we can. You let me in once, just do it again and you'll see that I remember, and that I care about you too."

His eyes were stormy and wild, and I was losing hope. Why didn't he believe me? Or did he believe me but didn't care anymore? Had he changed his mind about me already? "Mousseau, just stop. You don't know what you're talking about ―"

"Yes I do, _Draco_."

His eyes widened at my use of his name. He knew I remembered then. Color rose on his cheeks and I could tell he wasn't happy. He stepped closer, about to yell or hex me or I don't know. I didn't give him time. The moment he got within my reach, I pulled him into me to communicate how we did best. A collective gasp rose throughout the Hall, and I heard a goblet crash to the ground behind us. But when he smirked into the kiss and knotted his hands in my hair, I forgot everything around us. I knew that was his way of agreeing that we could try this, and I never wanted to let him go. Moments later, however, we were roughly separated and a wand appeared, pointed at his chest. Another joined it seconds after.

I looked around in surprise, still dazed from our snog. A panting Hermione was tugging on Ron and Harry's arms, trying to get them to lower their wands. Draco stood tall, smirking at them with his eyes blazing. He winked at me and Harry growled, pushing the tip of his wand into Draco's chest. "What the fuck do you think you're doing to her, Malfoy?"

"Excuse me, Potter, but it looks to me like Eleanor began that."

Ron sputtered incomprehensibly, and it was only then that I realized he was half covered in pumpkin juice. I grinned, realizing it must have been his goblet that fell. Hermione had stopped trying to make them lower their wands and was looking at the High Table nervously. None of the teachers seemed to be paying attention to the quite obvious scene in front of them, but I could have sworn I saw Dumbledore smile at me. Harry turned to me. "Ellie, are you….is he forcing you to do this?"

Draco's smirk widened, and I shot him a glare, trying to make him behave. This was going to be tricky, and his attitude certainly wasn't helping anything. I turned to both Harry and Ron.

"Look, I know the way you lot feel about each other. I'm not going to expect that to change. All that matters is the way Draco and I feel about each other. I also don't expect you to understand or approve. I just know that Draco makes me happy, and if you're really my friends, you wouldn't judge me for it at the very least."

Harry looked bewildered and ran a hand through his already messy hair. "Merlin, Ellie, when you put it that way, you make it hard not to feel guilty….but are you sure you know everything about him? Or enough about him that you can be sure this is a good decision?"

I immediately knew he was referring to Draco's alleged Death Eater involvement, and Draco knew too. His smirk twisted into a snarl and his hand twitched toward his own wand. I hurried to calm them both. "No, I don't know everything about Draco, and he doesn't know everything about me. But we're going to learn about each other, that's the point. If you don't trust him, trust me. Please."

Harry's face softened and he nodded slightly. I thought he was going to lower his wand, but instead he raised it to Draco's throat. He stepped close enough that the rest of us could barely hear what he said next. "Listen carefully, you bastard. I don't trust you, she's right. If I find out that you hurt her in any way, I will fucking kill you. Look into my eyes and see if you don't think I'll do it."

Draco cocked an eyebrow, and I knew him well enough to take that as a sign he certainly believed Harry. My heart warmed at his words. Alec would have been proud to see Harry taking his place as my protector.

"If I hurt her, I assure you I will not object. Eleanor means more to me than you know. I don't need your threats to be motivated to take care of her."

His eyes were blazing again, and I wanted nothing more than to leap past Harry and Ron into his arms. Harry nodded once and lowered his wand. Ron, however, had practically turned purple with suppressed rage. Hermione and Harry tugged him back to the table, and I was left to finally have a proper discussion with Draco. The rest of the Hall began murmuring among themselves, in shock that the Prince of Slytherin was now together with the new Gryffindor. I turned to him, and he was staring at me intently.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Ellie?"

I had never imagined he would end up using my nickname, and it made me grin helplessly. "I've been sure for a long time, Draco. I just had to get you on board."

He muttered something about "stubborn Gryffindors" before taking my hand and leading me out of the Great Hall. He paused to swipe a stack of toast off the Ravenclaw table, earning him dirty looks. "How about we just take a walk?"

As we went through the doors into the Entrance Hall, we passed Dean walking in with Seamus, whose eyes dropped immediately to Draco's hand intertwined with mine. He looked up at me and hesitated slightly, as though he was about to say something. Draco stepped between us, however, blocking me from his sight almost entirely. Dean nudged him inside, and my stomach sank. I missed being friends with Seamus, but did I want to try again after what had happened?

* * *

Sixth year was improving greatly. Apparition lessons were just beginning, Harry had received a clue about something called Horcruxes through his meetings with Dumbledore, and Draco and I were still together a full two weeks after the morning of our confrontation in the Great Hall, which was about two weeks longer than Ron had predicted. He had been angrier than Harry and still complained about us. It soon became another point of contention between him and Hermione, which I felt guilty about. Ron wasn't the only one who disapproved of Draco and I, however. Draco's friends were disgusted he was with a Gryffindor. Most of his House didn't dare question him, but Crabbe, Goyle, Blaise, Pansy, and the boy named Nott from our Potions class made a point of making my life difficult. They were sneaky, though, to avoid Draco's wrath. I hadn't mentioned anything to him, not wanting to start problems so soon.

In any case, we had an unspoken agreement to make time for each other separately. It would have not gone well for either one of us to dive into the mix of the other's House and friends. I enjoyed time alone with Draco for various reasons, but I occasionally found myself wishing I could invite him to study with Hermione and I in the library, or that I could go with him and his friends during free periods. I was happy to be with him at all, though, and was proud that we were working through our differences so well. I was finding it harder to do so with each passing day, however, as Harry had made it his personal mission in life to find out where Draco kept disappearing to. It was hard not to wonder, really, but he was becoming obsessed.

The obsession only intensified when Ron was poisoned on his birthday. He stayed in the hospital wing for over a week, long enough to miss the Gryffindor-Hufflepuff Quidditch match. This match wasn't good for anyone, as Harry's skull was cracked by a Bludger. Hermione, Ginny, and I had waited by his bed waiting for him to wake up as we talked to Ron. We were all in agreement that we hoped maybe some of his fixation on Draco would have been knocked out of him. The first thing he said when he woke up, however, was "Ellie, I need to talk to you."

Hermione and Ginny looked at me sympathetically as he launched into his encounter with Draco and two girls. My stomach lurched, but I somehow felt oddly relieved. I had been more concerned that he had found proof of Draco being a Death Eater than the fact he was worried Draco was cheating on me. I kissed Harry on the cheek, thanking him for looking out for me, and went to go find Draco. As I wandered down towards the dungeons, Pansy and Blaise stepped out of the shadows. "Well if it isn't Draco's little bitch," Pansy said, as she and Blaise advanced on me. I reached towards my wand, but Blaise shook his head and raised his own.

"Don't even think about it."


End file.
